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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Eulogy for Innocencedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Dipsomniac
    Elite Ratio:    3.47 - 59/70/18
    Words: 168
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 1273
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1053



    Description:
       Simple: about the death of innocence, and what brings it.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsEulogy for Innocencedots
    -------------------------------------------



    Something is lost in this dark hall
    Perhaps it is the innocence of us all
    For what is it that man must see
    Before his days will end?

    Could it be nausea, terror, storm?
    An unborn child to cause him pain
    Trespass and murder in the rain
    Bucket of sin drenched in wine
    Flute to the piper
    Pearls to the swine
    So rests fate
    In hands not divine

    Innocence murdered at three o’clock
    A child was born at three past noon
    Spawn of anger, lust, and greed
    Of hate and filth be this unholy seed

    Something has happened in this dark hall
    Could it be his heart did fall?
    For what is it a man must lose
    To kill all sense of trust

    Could it be tears, shouting, dread?
    An unborn child to cause him pain
    Darkness and sickness in the rain
    Pale of wormwood deep and wide
    Preys on my flesh
    Thorn in my side
    Weep, oh world!
    Innocence has died.




    Submitted on 2005-07-09 18:27:54     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I was given the privilege of reading this, a couple of months before it actually was posted on this site. and I must say its still lovable...I like it very much, and its even in my journal.
    this is so true, this poem, has a life of its own, and you can only thank the author on that one.
    I was trying to think about the meaning of the time thing, when the man was born, but I came to no definite conclusion. Maybe if you could clear that up/tell me what it means, or tell me that it doesnt mean anything, I would appreciate it a lot. (of course I could spend the next 2o minutes thinking bout it, but right now, IM not in so much of the interpreting mood)
    "So rests fate
    In hands not divine..." this makes sense in the context of the poem, but after reading, ( I have read it several times since you gave it to me), my mind kept on thinking that it was "if hands not divine"...then I would have to read over it again, and think "in not if!". I would just say that if you ever change anything...that would be an awesome adjusment, if you changed the "in" to "if"...because yes the hands that rule the visible fate of our world, are jewel crested swine, but what about the ruler of the the invisible fate...the "if" I feel resonates better with the rest of hte poem...but that tis just me own opinion.
    just a thought...but I love this poem either way, and I wont forgotchyou either...with brotherly love(philadelphia),
    jc prescott

    ps...Im leaving for the usa tommorow...if you happen to drop by me state next year, you are welcome...if I end up in your state...that would be cool too whatever...sao paulo just scored a goal *ticker tape, ticker tape, ticker tape*

    pps...some more*ticker tape*
    | Posted on 2005-07-14 00:00:00 | by jcpdandalice | [ Reply to This ]
      i agree with persephone...it was good, and some parts of it came through really clear. like the unborn child thing and the whole hallway deal, i totally understood that. but then other parts i wasnt sure what you were trying to get across. maybe try making yourself more clear rather than using analogies that people dont really get. or maybe i just dont know whats going on cuz its 1:00 a.m. haha! either way, it made me think, and thats always good.
    | Posted on 2005-07-09 00:00:00 | by xvacantxskiesx | [ Reply to This ]
      Pearls to the swine
    So rests fate
    In hands not divine...
    that last line there needs work, doesnt seem to fit, but otherwise decent job...just dont FORCE rhymes! =-)
    | Posted on 2005-07-09 00:00:00 | by hybridsongwrite | [ Reply to This ]
      I think this was good, but I was sorta confused on what exactly was happening. There was a good story, but I didn't understand the connection. (Maybe I'm just loosing it though!) Still it's pretty good.
    Cheers,
    ~Persephone~
    | Posted on 2005-07-09 00:00:00 | by Persephone | [ Reply to This ]


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