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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Still asleep...dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Traveller
    ASL Info:    43/Male/Alaska
    Elite Ratio:    5.33 - 59/46/7
    Words: 76
    Class/Type: Poetry/Comedy
    Total Views: 238
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 454



    Description:
       This was just a poem I wrote in humor one day.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsStill asleep...dots
    -------------------------------------------


    I wake in the morning
    to greet my day
    much as I do
    in the usual way

    When I gaze out the window
    with great surprise
    I see myself staring
    into my eyes

    I shake my head
    and my eyes do I rub
    taking a step back
    I fall into the tub

    Then I chuckle
    and manage to laugh
    It's not a window at all
    but the mirror in my bath!




    Submitted on 2005-07-10 01:16:33     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      This was great. It makes me think of someone who has been drinking all night and still feeling the effects of it in the morning.

    This was a great little laugh, and the rhyme was very well done. It wasn't forced at all.

    Wow, two faves in a row, what to do with myself.

    Brightest Blessings,
    Crystal
    | Posted on 2005-07-10 00:00:00 | by lenotoire | [ Reply to This ]
      lol pretty kool -
    made me chuckle!
    the rhyme suits the mood perfectly and has a continuous flow!
    occasionally its nice to read something with no seriousness and full of humour-the funny realisation at the end gives a certain humerous effect because jokes are like that -with a funny/strange conclusion at the end - nicely !
    cally xxx
    | Posted on 2005-07-10 00:00:00 | by callycat | [ Reply to This ]
      Very clever work. Your rhymes work perfectly , which sets the flow very nicely.

    I love it, it is funny but then again, there is this moment of self realization in that morning moment and you can picture some guy naked staring into his own face with a funny grin.

    Anyhoo, i want to see more of your work. Take care
    | Posted on 2005-07-10 00:00:00 | by Shahdin | [ Reply to This ]
      Ive never seen a piec like this before but reading reminded me of alice in wonderland for some reason haha. Mirrors, in which are suppsoed to reveal truth but sometimes things are not what they seem and at the same time can put you into relaity check. Thats what I gathered from your piece. Interesting and Unique.

    Lolavie
    | Posted on 2005-07-10 00:00:00 | by lolavie | [ Reply to This ]



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