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    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Hedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: pandora22
    ASL Info:    22 u.s.a
    Elite Ratio:    2.54 - 33/40/18
    Words: 100
    Class/Type: Misc/Dark
    Total Views: 251
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 716



    Description:
       I don't think this really like poetry but i dreamed it and had to write it so here it is tell me what you think?!


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsHedots
    -------------------------------------------


    He craves desperation,he can almost taste it.
    Their all desperate,to be happy,to make more money,to just run away.

    He says it's hot and sweet,
    like the blood pounding through their veins.

    All of them have it,says their all just aching for anyway out of their dull,little lives.

    He provides the way...see's himself as their salvation,their only hope.

    One fast...well placed incision then it's done.
    No more work,no more love,no more let downs,
    it's just over.

    He lays in bed at night happy,satisfied.
    cause he's given them all the most precious gift...
    total and utter peace.




    Submitted on 2005-07-10 01:30:27     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I agree with vendanta this time. The poem is perplexing. I like your work, but it is never very descriptive and doesn't give much detail.
    LeAnna
    | Posted on 2005-07-10 00:00:00 | by RedRoseofBlood | [ Reply to This ]
      A mysterious poem. Confusing in a way. Who's this 'He'..a devil??

    It's an interesting read but not very gripping. If you explain in description and/or add more lines/situations to the current piece, it would help the readers to reach the soul of the poem.
    | Posted on 2005-07-10 00:00:00 | by vedanta19 | [ Reply to This ]



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    January 10 07
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