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    dots Submission Name: Too Opened Up (pt3)dots

    Author: shombray
    ASL Info:    18/F/Texas
    Elite Ratio:    5.31 - 103/91/26
    Words: 238
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 735
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1463

       Just tell me what you think.Should I continue or stop right here?

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsToo Opened Up (pt3)dots

    Even though shes having his baby
    She will not go be his lady
    He doesn't want to deal with her
    Because she's getting on his nerves

    And here comes this bundle of joy
    So cute,little and like a fragile toy
    They both agree to be there for thier son
    But their hearts will never again be one

    She casually dates other men
    Who are loving and do spend
    He has found him a good looking hottie
    Who makes him feel like somebody

    All of them get along well
    There are no bad stories to tell
    These two parents become best friends
    They promise to be there till the end

    But theres still some chemistry there
    All of it did not disappear in the air
    When everything seems to be o.k.
    He comes to her house one day

    He wants to share some great news
    And wants her and her date to be there too
    So him and his girl sit at the restaurant and wait
    His "best friend" seems to be running late

    She finally arrives and waits to hear
    The reason why she's here
    He gets down on one knee
    And asks his girl"Will you marry me"

    His girl says yes and puts on the ring
    This is the time when his "ex" wants to scream
    Her body starts to become weak
    She can hardley breathe or speak

    Submitted on 2005-07-10 03:14:12     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I gotta say this poem was great. I love how these to are still constantly trying to get back at one another, it shows so much. I love it. Me personally i think you should keep on going coz its really good and i cant wait to see what happens next. These poems are great. Its a story that i hope will continue... Keep it up I love em.
    | Posted on 2005-07-11 00:00:00 | by Natie | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow. I think this was really good. The ending was a shocker. What an [censored]. How could you propose infront of your ex like that. I think the rhyming was very good. Some parts weren't rhyming that great but they did rhyme. It's almost as if a couple parts had forced rhyming at the end. Anyways that doesn't matter. This has a great story to it. I liked it a lot good work. And yeah keep writting dont stop here.
    | Posted on 2005-07-10 00:00:00 | by musclebound350 | [ Reply to This ]
      keep writting i love this story no way could you end it here it would be impossiable i love it way to much and it seems to be hanging on the very edge of things so no you cant just leave people hanging in the balance this is so not fare if it was me i would smack the guy really hard across the face for wanting me there the mother to his baby when he propses to another girl anyways thats just my oppinion well talk to you latter keep up the good work
    | Posted on 2005-07-10 00:00:00 | by darkonesgirl | [ Reply to This ]

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