[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: longing for youdots

    Author: sword stalker
    ASL Info:    18/female/home
    Elite Ratio:    2.57 - 27/27/16
    Words: 102
    Class/Type: Poetry/Longing
    Total Views: 749
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 587

       this is just what i'm feelin at the moment,feel free to totally crush it...

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dots longing for youdots

    I canít help but feel betrayed,
    But my heart still longs for you,
    I still remember the pain you put me through,
    But I canít help but miss you,
    I told myself too often,
    That I would never love again,
    Yet here I am, still wanting you,
    Still longing for your touch,
    Now you want me back,
    And I still want you,
    But I canít bring myself to say that I love you too,
    I may have said mean things to you,
    But not a word was true,
    And even though Iím with him,
    My heart still longs for youÖ

    Submitted on 2005-07-10 06:39:17     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      Very sad and heartbreaking. But you are feeding the emotions, not letting the reader figure it out for themselves. Try being a little more abstract, maybe. Use words in a way that even confuses yourself. Good write, thanks for sharing your pain.
    | Posted on 2005-07-10 00:00:00 | by Adaria | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]