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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: How can you just ignore me?dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Imaginth
    Elite Ratio:    5.18 - 43/50/19
    Words: 371
    Class/Type: Poetry/
    Total Views: 1081
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 2024



    Description:
       I really can't share.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsHow can you just ignore me?dots
    -------------------------------------------


    There you are all alone and not even a soul to comfort you,
    The tear drops so slow an eternity could pass around me and I would not even lift my head,
    Here I go, step by step, not a sound is passed to my ears,
    I grab your hand and just pull you to the forest of the passing world,
    You willingly come closer and invite me into your life with a smile,
    Running next to me we race to the end of the forest unknowing what will come our way,
    The world ignores me when I cry for help but there you are with your hand out to save me,
    Leaping onto land with you by my side there's no greater joy,
    So there we are, two of a kind, not even caring what passes us by,
    Nothing can rip the moment apart until you fall and it is my turn to save you,
    Holding my hand no need to hesitate, up you go into my arms,
    The time is perfect to tell you how I really feel,
    Then your gone,
    Nothing left, not even a hair,
    Now your gone no one left standing beside me,
    Here I cry and there I died,
    All alone in my wild jungle of reality,
    Gone you are, from my life, no one to comfort me,
    Where did you go?
    I am lost without you, please come back,
    I let you slip out of my grasp,
    Once again here I am shredded into pieces,
    There I cried and here I died,
    This is where I was in the beginning and now its the end,
    I will cry and I will die all over again,
    Where did you go?
    How could you just leave me?
    There you are standing here by my side,
    You have changed I can feel it inside,
    A million times I looked for you now you just stand there with a smirk on your face,
    Will you even look at me?
    Please, don't let me die again, not after what I have already gone through,
    Here I am once again shredded into pieces,
    You don't even care,
    So I died for the final time,
    Why did you ignore me?
    Why?




    Submitted on 2005-07-10 12:47:45     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Wow..This is fantastic..
    Your work is so deep, and I almost was crying because I could feel the words. Like they were my own.
    Just an over all great job..

    -Safire
    | Posted on 2008-01-22 00:00:00 | by girly101 | [ Reply to This ]
      wow that was sad! but it was very good!! i realy liked it! :) i showed it to some friends and they think you should write books! keep it up!! :D
    | Posted on 2007-01-29 00:00:00 | by darkmoonchild | [ Reply to This ]
      That was too emotional, really was! Specially for not being a real story! And that itself a success as you succeeded in transfering the emotional state to the reader (me) through words.

    Of course the description was long and containing some useless information like saying you had a reason for writing this piece but you can't share it! Well, why did you mention it in the first place?!

    Also I want to say that can't be a poem!! At all! Don't you think so?! I mean it could be a random thought or a small short story but can't be a poem!!

    The best thing about this piece is the emotion flowing over it and the well shown sencerity in the story.

    I think you described the whole thing very well, using smart sentences and well constructed too.

    Anyway, I hope that you find my comment somehow helpful to you, and I'll end up my comment saying Good luck and keep it up.
    | Posted on 2005-07-18 00:00:00 | by Yousef | [ Reply to This ]
      Well, I too, enjoyed this read. You took us on quite an interesting trip with you through the forest/jungle. .
    and through your pain... to have someone there for you...and then they're gone, and you're left alone again.
    You shared your emotions in a descriptive way that kept me reading till the end.
    Nice work!
    ~Sandra
    | Posted on 2005-07-16 00:00:00 | by Intricate1 | [ Reply to This ]
      I quite liked this.
    I especially liked your flight of fancy through the forest, which turned back into the "jungle" of reality, great symbolism.
    Haven't got much criticism, however, I like it too much.
    Well done!
    Be Happy

    Graeme
    | Posted on 2005-07-10 00:00:00 | by wewak11 | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

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    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
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    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    65972

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


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