Okay, So You Don't Aprrove.... by Amberdy

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dots

<< | >>

Submission Name: Okay, So You Don't Aprrove.... dots

--------------------------------------------------------

Author:	Amberdy
ASL Info:	21/F/TX
Elite Ratio:	4.37 - 240/232/59
Words:	168

Class/Type:	Poetry/Angry
Total Views:	198
Average Vote:	No vote yet.
Bytes:	1008

Description:
I haven't posted in a while, and this isnn't very good, it's just something I wrote to vent my frustration.
I updated a friend on my life and well, needless to say, he wasn't thrilled with what I had to say....but whatever, I'm not here to please everyone else.

Okay, So You Don't Aprrove.... dots

-------------------------------------------

Okay so you don't really approve,
But since when do I live my life according to you?
You say you don't agree,
But really, who are you to criticize me?
I'm doing what makes me happy,
And all you can do is scoff at me.
Where does your opinion come into play?
Why can't you have something better to say?
I guess it's true, you can't please them all,
But you know, I wont let you make me fall.
You're so caught up in what you want to be,
Too busy to have the slightest bit of sympathy.
Get a grip of reality,
And stop trying to judge everybody.
I wish you were just a little more supportive,
And not so disappointed with the way that I to live.
I dont need your approval for anything I do,
Don't need your opinion or your point of view.
So stop telling me how disappointed you are with me
And start being the friend you say you want to be.

Submitted on 2005-07-10 22:13:55 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!

||| Comments |||
  i'm gonna take up your friend's side cos somebody has to.

stop being so bloody childish! so what if someone tells you they dont approve, be adult enough to appreciate that you need people in your life to disagree with your decisions!

whatever goes on is your concern but your attitude stinks, be nice and think twice.

either that or ignore me.

bugsy.
| Posted on 2005-07-11 00:00:00 | by bugsy | [ Reply to This ]
  'with the way that I to live' - I think you meant this without the word 'to', but anyways.

This was a very angry rant. Sometimes we have to get it out or just blow up and chop people's heads off with blunt samurai swords. I would prefer to get it out myself lol. Which you have done here.

Now this is an honest critique ok? So don't get offended when I say I've heard this all before. Just an opinion, that's all. But your message was valid and truthful...

Perhaps if you reworded some phrases or redirected it into a more metaphorical poem, I would say differently. But as it is, it is just an angry rant. Which is cool. And as you said, you're not here just to please everyone else, which is a good stance to have.

Peace,
*Jase*
| Posted on 2005-07-10 00:00:00 | by alteredlife | [ Reply to This ]
  Sometimes its hard for other people to accept the way we live. But it is bot a decision they are entitled to make. But they can be supportive and help you out whenever possible.

This was written with alot of anger, I think. This friend doesn't approve of the way you are living, and it angers you. I felt alot of emotion in this piece, which is great. Emotions make the best poetry.

The rhyming wasn't too bad. There were some lines that seemed to be forced. For example,

'I wish you were just a little more supportive,
And not so disappointed with the way that I live.'

These seemed like you were struggling with the rhyme.

I think that otherwise this was a great write, and maybe with a few fixes, it could be even greater.

Brightest Blessings,
Crystal
| Posted on 2005-07-10 00:00:00 | by lenotoire | [ Reply to This ]
  Sounds like ur friend heard something he thought was either bad or dangerous activity going on in ur life. Something that YOU told him!
I'm betting it was either sexual promiscuity or drug use... I might be way off the mark here, and if I am, I apologize...but I don't think I am. Please reconsider ur friend's advice and don't look at his concern as a personal attack on u. Maybe, he really is a friend and is only concerned about your well-being. Not to mention safety. U say u don't need his opinion, approval or point of view. Then, I have a simple solution - DON'T TELL HIM about what u r doing in ur personal life. If it is something that u want to do, and u will not stop doing it even though ur friend is afraid for u, then what he doesn't know can't hurt him, and u can have both ur own choice and keep ur friendship. Don't be too harsh with people who r genuinely concerned about u though, it generally means that they care... good luck, I hope u rethink all of this. cher
| Posted on 2005-08-09 00:00:00 | by Inducted_Kitty | [ Reply to This ]

Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

1. Be honest.
2. Try not to give only compliments.
3. How did it make you feel?
4. Why did it make you feel that way?
5. Which parts?
6. What distracted from the piece? 7. What was unclear?
8. What does it remind you of?
9. How could it be improved?
10. What would you have done differently?
11. What was your interpretation of it?
12. Does it feel original?

66035

Full Anime Episodes Streaming Free
5 million youtube videos all rated over 4.7 stars with 40+ ratings

[ Copy this | Start New | Full Size ]

Enter your search terms Submit search form

Web www.eliteskills.com

[ Chrispian ] [ Write Forum ]
[ Friends ] [ SNESroms ] .

[ Quick Signup ]
[ Lost Password ]

January 10 07
131,497 Poems
Posted

I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

[ Angst Poetry ]
[ Cutters ]
[ Famous Poetry ]
[ Poetry Scams ]

FontSize:
[ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]