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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: what you did to medots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: musclebound350
    ASL Info:    26/male
    Elite Ratio:    4.87 - 197/202/70
    Words: 236
    Class/Type: Poetry/
    Total Views: 927
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1374



    Description:
       my girlfriend lied to me more than once and I just found out yesterday. I cant believe someone could lie like that to me. Please dont ask what she lied about. Just want opinions, comments.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotswhat you did to medots
    -------------------------------------------


    you held me close to you
    I never will forget your smile
    the times we had together
    these things I will admire

    the way you talked to me
    how you calmed me down when I was mad
    you were right there by my side
    you brought me up when I was sad

    I couldn't prepare for this event
    this things that I had to do
    I found out your secrets
    and I could no longer trust you

    all the lies you said
    all the stories you made up
    I never thought we would end
    but I now our time is up

    while it lasted it was good
    because I didn't see the lies
    now I wonder if you really loved me
    was everything just a disguise

    I gave you my heart
    and everything i could
    trying to be perfect
    was all I understood

    you were perfect in my eyes
    and I will never forget that
    and wonder if you've always lied to me
    and how you stabbed me in the back

    I called you up on the phone
    after we hung out that day
    I said I can no longer trust you
    because of how much you lied to me

    so I say farewell to you
    and I hope you find someone nice
    so they can love you deeply
    then stab you in the back with a knife




    Submitted on 2005-07-10 23:37:48     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Ooooh! This is a really good venting poem! As I was going along reading this, I was thinking how well you seemed to be handling yourself in this most painful write but then I got to the end and had to smile even though this is a very hard and painful poem. I would probably have written the whole poem like your blunt last two lines so I commend you for your delicateness. It really adds a nice kick to the ending as well. Lying people just suck. No if ands or buts about it. Lying to someone who loves you is a rotten thing to do. It does nothing but destroy the relationship. One thing about trust is once it is gone, it is gone. No fixing, no taking back the lies and even if the person never tells another lie to you in their lifetime, you still remain full of doubt. Sorry to hear you were hurt this way, but on a brighter note, at least you found out before you wasted your lifetime on this person! Good expression here! Take care!

    Lorna
    | Posted on 2005-10-10 00:00:00 | by lmz | [ Reply to This ]
      ouch. just ouch. not that your poem is bad, if that's what you're thinking, but that what it's about sucks.
    some little things that irked me
    you used the word mad, i would have used angry, it sounds more grown up.
    second
    but I now our time is up...now should be KNOW, but that's one of the mistakes we all make typing something up.
    anyway, i'm quite sorry about your exgirlfriend and i hope you feel better. Have a marvelous day!

    Post Script:
    I liked your comment on ALS by newerachild(i'm his girlfriend.) it is a wonderful poem, no?
    | Posted on 2005-07-11 00:00:00 | by fabulousAMY | [ Reply to This ]
      First of all, sorry about your girlfriend.
    Second, your rhymes came and went as the poem went along. The spelling things are nothing that can't be edited.
    You sum it all up very well with regard to feelings of betrayal and trust being broken. I liked that. Oh and I love the twist at the end about wishing her a life lesson later so she knows how it feels. A bit rough, but I loved it. Smiles
    | Posted on 2005-07-11 00:00:00 | by Traveller | [ Reply to This ]


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