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what you did to me

Author: musclebound350
ASL Info:    26/male
Elite Ratio:    4.87 - 197 /202 /70
Words: 236
Class/Type: Poetry /
Total Views: 1144
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 1374


my girlfriend lied to me more than once and I just found out yesterday. I cant believe someone could lie like that to me. Please dont ask what she lied about. Just want opinions, comments.

what you did to me

you held me close to you
I never will forget your smile
the times we had together
these things I will admire

the way you talked to me
how you calmed me down when I was mad
you were right there by my side
you brought me up when I was sad

I couldn't prepare for this event
this things that I had to do
I found out your secrets
and I could no longer trust you

all the lies you said
all the stories you made up
I never thought we would end
but I now our time is up

while it lasted it was good
because I didn't see the lies
now I wonder if you really loved me
was everything just a disguise

I gave you my heart
and everything i could
trying to be perfect
was all I understood

you were perfect in my eyes
and I will never forget that
and wonder if you've always lied to me
and how you stabbed me in the back

I called you up on the phone
after we hung out that day
I said I can no longer trust you
because of how much you lied to me

so I say farewell to you
and I hope you find someone nice
so they can love you deeply
then stab you in the back with a knife

Submitted on 2005-07-10 23:37:48     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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  Ooooh! This is a really good venting poem! As I was going along reading this, I was thinking how well you seemed to be handling yourself in this most painful write but then I got to the end and had to smile even though this is a very hard and painful poem. I would probably have written the whole poem like your blunt last two lines so I commend you for your delicateness. It really adds a nice kick to the ending as well. Lying people just suck. No if ands or buts about it. Lying to someone who loves you is a rotten thing to do. It does nothing but destroy the relationship. One thing about trust is once it is gone, it is gone. No fixing, no taking back the lies and even if the person never tells another lie to you in their lifetime, you still remain full of doubt. Sorry to hear you were hurt this way, but on a brighter note, at least you found out before you wasted your lifetime on this person! Good expression here! Take care!

| Posted on 2005-10-10 00:00:00 | by lmz | [ Reply to This ]
  ouch. just ouch. not that your poem is bad, if that's what you're thinking, but that what it's about sucks.
some little things that irked me
you used the word mad, i would have used angry, it sounds more grown up.
but I now our time is should be KNOW, but that's one of the mistakes we all make typing something up.
anyway, i'm quite sorry about your exgirlfriend and i hope you feel better. Have a marvelous day!

Post Script:
I liked your comment on ALS by newerachild(i'm his girlfriend.) it is a wonderful poem, no?
| Posted on 2005-07-11 00:00:00 | by fabulousAMY | [ Reply to This ]
  First of all, sorry about your girlfriend.
Second, your rhymes came and went as the poem went along. The spelling things are nothing that can't be edited.
You sum it all up very well with regard to feelings of betrayal and trust being broken. I liked that. Oh and I love the twist at the end about wishing her a life lesson later so she knows how it feels. A bit rough, but I loved it. Smiles
| Posted on 2005-07-11 00:00:00 | by Traveller | [ Reply to This ]

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