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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Happy, Now?dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Raivn
    ASL Info:    33/f/al
    Elite Ratio:    4.28 - 1222/916/231
    Words: 126
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 582
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 807



    Description:
       I see him every night, and we talk, and i just look at him, and he looks so un-well and he's so skinny and preoccupied, and I think the only time he can be himself is when he's with me.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsHappy, Now?dots
    -------------------------------------------


    Are you happy now, my darling
    Now that you've fulfilled your dreams
    Is your happy little family
    As perfect as it seems?
    Are you happy now, my sweet
    Are you sleeping well
    Are you eating okay
    Are you still under her spell?
    Are you happy now, my dear
    Are things as perfect as you thought they'd be
    You look so tired, and so very thin
    Am I the only one that can see?
    Are you happy now, my friend
    In this "perfect" world you've built
    You've become obsessive about your home
    But are you really overcome with guilt?
    Are you happy now, my love
    It's not quite what you thought it would be
    Are you happy there with her
    Or are you miserable like me?




    Submitted on 2005-07-11 10:22:50     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      the ending caught me off guard but in all its was good and it reminds me of the relationship between me n my frend.. i relly like this tho.. <3 ash
    | Posted on 2005-07-15 00:00:00 | by scardnscared | [ Reply to This ]
      This is awesome...I like how you built the whole poem up and then in the end BANG, another one of your signature lines, something that perfectly summs up the entire thing, you did really well with this and I am proud to know you and be able to be like, " I know her, she is my sister" Then when you are famous I'm gonna sell your sh*t on ebay.
    | Posted on 2005-07-11 00:00:00 | by lori_tab | [ Reply to This ]
      Great job. Very simple and fluid. I think you did a great job leading the reader up the the point. I did not think the end would be the way it is. I will be looking foward to reading more by you.
    | Posted on 2005-07-11 00:00:00 | by Silver20G | [ Reply to This ]


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