Description: I was up for a happier poem, something a bit brighter and less filled with death and depression. LOL. I was feeling bright today ;) Hope you like it and it fills you with hope as it did me when I wrote it.
I liked the simplicity in this...sometimes when people write about love its so filled with metaphors and codes just so that they wont get that "this is so cliché" comment...but you were able to express, faith, uncertainity and acceptence very well with this...
Hey, I caught a spelling error in the word disaster that you may have missed . . . hehe, so that's my one contribution here.
I've written a couple of poems like this and maybe so have we all. But then there's something magical about new love . . . something DeadnDreaming and I were just talking about the other night. Nothing like it!
Just when you think you don't have another one in you, here it comes and we tend to forget the hurtful past.
good job. I like this a lot. it's honest, but hopeful too; that's usually not an easy combination to come by. The rhythm flows nicely (I do think you should omit "on" in stanza 4) and the rhyme scheme is excellent. Overall this is a very good piece. The only other critique I have is the discrepency in structure between stanza 1 and the rest of the piece, but that's purely aesthetic as it doesn't really affect any other aspects of the work. Good job. J
Falling in love and building a relationship, how one adjusts to the other as it progresses, I found this a very good and brief description of the interactions of a couple adjusting to a new relationship and how it takes faith..no matter what problems and issues arise to actually believe in one another, nice write. Alan
I really like the first stanza, it jumps straight into the attitude of wonder that you seem to maintain throughout the poem (It's the accompanying attitudes that change). I like how it progresses like a story without changing the flow, I know personally, that I have trouble with this very often). Very nice rhyming too.
Yeah, a nice build-up to the ending full of hope for the future. You structured this well, it was a bit too short to do your emotions justice though. I'd love to hear more about a past disaster, or how this new love started forming, I guess I just was left wanting more. You can't have too much of a good thing!