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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Monopolic Lovedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Munchie_1226
    ASL Info:    25/F/E.STL
    Elite Ratio:    4.49 - 1831/1834/185
    Words: 246
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 1311
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1423



    Description:
       My perspective of the love game.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsMonopolic Lovedots
    -------------------------------------------


    I’ve been playing this game for a while now....
    Damn, can I roll the dice and have a go?
    I’ve been lost in this game for so long now,
    Where I’m at on the board, I do not know!

    I thought I was on Illinois Avenue,
    I’m pretty sure that’s where I was.
    Yet, I drove my car around and parked at Park Place,
    You taxed me instead of showing me some love!

    As soon as I think that I’m catching up,
    What do you do? You roll again.
    And wouldn’t you know, just my luck,
    “Go Straight to Jail”…..”Go get in the pen!”

    You don’t even come by to visit.
    As though you like to keep traveling on your own.
    I asked to buy your Out of Jail free card.
    You’re so greedy you couldn’t even offer me a loan!

    I sit…………………and sit.
    Waiting for you to pay me some attention.
    Oh Wait a minute….is that you on Tennessee?
    I own that…did I forget to mention?

    One more roll, then I’m out of jail.
    Maybe my luck will finally increase.
    I’ll finish this game, take all your money,
    And your laughter and game control can come to a cease.

    For if I win, or if I lose,
    I know, with you, I will never play this again.
    For playing this game takes too much of my time,
    And there are other things in life, which I must attend.




    Submitted on 2005-07-11 15:05:06     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      after reading this, i don't think i could ever play monopoly and not think of this poem. nice intertwining of the game and love

    dylanpoe's girl
    | Posted on 2005-07-25 00:00:00 | by dylanpoe | [ Reply to This ]
      blah blah blah didn't read any of your other comments so sorry if i repeat others...


    This was tooooooo damn creative...you seriously never cease to amaze me...what is in that head of yours Alicia? I am not sure but what ever it is it is pure talent!

    You took a topic everyone of us has written about yet made it so unique so orginal that well how can anyone say anything negitive about it...other then you su ck i should have thought of this first...

    *grabs dice*

    dont think you will be needing these anymore...

    "You don’t even come by to visit.
    As though you like to keep traveling on your own.
    I asked to buy your Out of Jail free card.
    You’re so greedy you couldn’t even offer me a loan!"

    wow! just had to say that...W-O-W...
    | Posted on 2005-07-25 00:00:00 | by Brownsdelight | [ Reply to This ]
      Such a creative and interesting write. Love that you wrote about this. Its fun and exciting. Some parts were funny. Sometimes its hard to think of what to write. But you don't show that. You come up with such amazing writes. Love them..
    Sometimes it might be easier to do that. Forget the love poems, and all the other poems. And make something truly original.. Like this piece..

    Fun Fun Fun Fun

    Stephanie
    | Posted on 2005-07-17 00:00:00 | by XxStephyxX04 | [ Reply to This ]
      good desription of monoply and the love game. i really liked it. the desriptions of the game thats intwined with how you trying to cope with love. thats really good. this is going on my favs
    | Posted on 2005-07-13 00:00:00 | by dylanpoe | [ Reply to This ]
      Very fun write here! You came with a unique concept looking at the pain of love through a playful concept. (Oh the brilliant mind) I got tripped up on the flow here and there but I'm sure you know how to make it flow perfectly as you read it. Nice job...

    X
    | Posted on 2005-07-13 00:00:00 | by xtremegentleman | [ Reply to This ]
      Unique, and the product of a unique mind, to symbolise life with the board game.

    If I wrote one about mine I guess it'd be "Snakes and Ladders" lol

    Very enjoyable, Li Li, be careful, your talent's showing!

    Be Happy
    Graeme
    | Posted on 2005-07-12 00:00:00 | by wewak11 | [ Reply to This ]
      Nice clever ending-you go girl!-sorry i got a bit carried away! I like the monopoly comparison, its quite unique and refreshing! The game between lovers is as comlex and irritating as this one( i never enjoyed monopoly heh) and after all that jail experience, taxes, ownership you ask youself...is he really worth it? lovely piece!
    -maria
    | Posted on 2005-07-12 00:00:00 | by AutumnLeaves | [ Reply to This ]
      Interesting take on the game of love and one (unfortunately) many can relate to. This is one of the most original pieces I've read in a while and you do a great job with all the various elements of the craft. Here's hoping you pass go and get your hotel on boardwalk.
    J
    | Posted on 2005-07-12 00:00:00 | by bentnotbroken | [ Reply to This ]
      I love how your poem is entertaining and fun without sounding childish. I think everyone can relate to this. Nearly everyone's played Monopoly and been in love with something (perhaps...Monopoly?). I think that my favourite part of the entire poem is definitely the name. It sounds so elegant and modern, very suitable, a sweet smell on a Summer breeze. There really isn't anything that doesn't work for it.
    | Posted on 2005-07-11 00:00:00 | by Cetilearo | [ Reply to This ]
      Yeah, it is a friggin game aint it? How many people can relate to this? Quite a bit more than would admit I am sure. I liked the monopoly thing and the jail reference. Aint it funny how sometimes it seems like a safe place to be...yet you cant collect rent there dam-en it! Who made these rules? They aint fair sometimes. Oar well. Have a good one and keep smilin'
    | Posted on 2005-07-11 00:00:00 | by hyproglo | [ Reply to This ]
      This was very unique, entertaining & true! I loved how you used the Monopoly Board ~ ownership, taxing, jail, etc. Very well done with content and with rhyme scheme and format!

    Go ahead & pass Go & Get It Girl!

    Love,Peace,Joy!
    | Posted on 2005-07-11 00:00:00 | by Epiphany | [ Reply to This ]
      Li, this showed great creativity, and imagination, because it must of been pretty hard to compare love to a monopoly game, then having it rhyme. A lot of skilled showed in this one, Li. I love the final stanza, because it was nice to know that you weren't going to play the game anymore, and that you would stand up yourself. If he didn't have the decency to "bail you out of jail", then he isn't worth your time. Great write, Li Li. I applaud you.
    Peace and love,
    Aya
    | Posted on 2005-07-11 00:00:00 | by EmpathicAya | [ Reply to This ]
      Hey Li Li! Really creative with this one! I like the comparison to the monopoly game! Gave me some laughs! I know just how you feel! Sometimes it just ain't worth it anymore huh? Yeah, I know whatcha mean! And ya know, they treat it like a game too don't they! I dunno! But I like this poem! How ya doing anyway?
    | Posted on 2005-07-11 00:00:00 | by lmz | [ Reply to This ]


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