Ooooh...pretty. Jaz, sometimes you piss me off cause you can write and you can draw, and I can only write, and I don't do it well in any style but my own. This one is very emotional. I like the last line...You trying to be like me, now? Love ya,sis.
I love how you gave this poem your all.one of your best i would say.I once told u to become a professional poet..., i suggest you think about it.You got talent girl.Im srry that this happened to you but if this makes it any better at least you got a amazing write out of it. Alysun-Lynn
I liked this alot. The sentence structure was already mentioned to you. I personally don't think the poem was ruined. I just saw the raw emotion of being left behind. Your flow was great. You kept the theme going in a steady pace to a finish. Well Done. Maggie
This was good, but the "and" at the beginning of the sentences just ruined it. Sentences don't start with and, so it just didn't work. If you took out the "and"s the poem would flow really well, and it would be really good. ~Kriss