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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Blood Donars 4 Dismal's_Childdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: ruejacobs
    ASL Info:    39/feminazi/Gehenna
    Elite Ratio:    4.82 - 619/473/167
    Words: 131
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 1151
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 910



    Description:
       this one rightly belongs in my Black-Rose series from the early ninties...don't bother looking it up, you won't find any here. i began it when i was pregnant with my little Double Helix, who very nearly came to be called BlackRose herself. since she can't read this here, i gave her a copy in long hand.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsBlood Donars 4 Dismal's_Childdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Double Helix on the vine
    She's not ready, she's not ready
    the gardener who knows how
    to press oil from those petals
    moves MacGregor-like amoung the rows
    he tills the soil he tends this orchard
    Double Helix grows
    She's not ready, yet.
    cultivated bloom in thin sand
    a beach flower, bearing thorns
    some Dark Rose she stretches in the sun
    Double Helix twists around those posts
    She's not ready, she's not ready
    the pact was made
    when she was grafted no one said a word
    and now, the tread of creeping ivy
    the scent of ozone
    and the shears...
    the gardener has not yet noticed
    and wends to shoreline driftwood.

    Double Helix on the vine
    She's not ready
    She's not ready
    She's not ready, yet.





    Submitted on 2005-07-11 16:05:31     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

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    ||| Comments |||
      Heya monkey. I am having problems with leaving comments for the girls poetry, the message box just doesn't appear at the bottom of the poem. I left rae a note on her page, but it is still frustrating. I like this piece just fine by the way, since it didn't look like I was funna. I do wonder what your facination with pruning is...I mean that lemon tree was so long ago, just let it go...j/k of course. And for one final note:
    I AM NOT TOUCHY!
    | Posted on 2005-07-29 00:00:00 | by His Assholiness | [ Reply to This ]
      Alice, why do you make your poetry so inaccessible? You are a most interesting poet, obviously skilled in poetic techniques, writing poetry with arresting vocabulary and images, yet I am left dissatisfied after reading it, because I fail to understand quite what it is about. Your title which could have been used to point the hapless reader in the right direction, gives me no clue whatsoever. I am left feeling that this is probably about a child who was taken before her time, but that would only be a guess. Could you not provide us with an establishing verse that informs us more prosaically what has happened, before the second verse takes off into sublime imagery?
    | Posted on 2005-07-11 00:00:00 | by hanuman | [ Reply to This ]
      Interesting. I fould this write to be very interesting...the wording, the format, the whole idea behind it...I really enjoyed reading it except for it seemed as if something were missing, like it should be longer or as if there was some kind of background to it...well i enjoyed reading it, keep up the good work, sorry i don't have any helpful suggestions
    | Posted on 2005-07-11 00:00:00 | by morte | [ Reply to This ]


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