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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Footprintsdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: ConScribe
    ASL Info:    19/M/Tucson,AZ
    Elite Ratio:    5.11 - 262/360/143
    Words: 44
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 814
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 254



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsFootprintsdots
    -------------------------------------------


    A journey,
    Left behind in the dirt,
    Waits for the rain to come
    And wash it away,
    To mix it with the mud
    And blemish the path that was.
    Footprints may only last so long
    For every road has its end.




    Submitted on 2005-07-11 16:23:41     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      It was a short poem. We all know that. One thing I do know it is a good poem. The words makes a lot of sense, yes every road has its ending. Then the ending leads to new beginnings. Another journey (hint). You take care. I liked it. A good write! wanda
    | Posted on 2005-07-11 00:00:00 | by bigfineq | [ Reply to This ]
      i used to go for walks with my dad along the beach when he was in health enough to do so and one day we looked back over where we had some from and he asked me how i would know which ones were my footprints... i had no idea how but i knew...
    he also that if me and an indian walked down the beach you would be able to tell which footprints was which coz apparently the indians are the only ppl who walk with their feet pointing straight ahead... most other ppl walk with their feet turned slightly out... kinda interesting...

    that was my intial response to your write.

    every road does have its end... im wondering in what sense you mean it though...
    road ending in death?
    ending in a dead end... youve come the wrong way and its time to turn back and find the right path perhaps...?
    road ending coz it has been abandoned or one has met a cross road and taken a different route... i dont know but all are valid and work in this write.

    i have a thing about creating memories coz in the end thats all one is left with... perhaps this is a good plan if my footprints are simply waiting to be washed away... how can i retrace steps that have been washed away...?

    interesting thoughts
    interesting piece
    | Posted on 2005-07-11 00:00:00 | by Someones Epiphany | [ Reply to This ]
      OK. So I read this piece. I see that you want poeple to bash it. I see that others have tried; calling it vague and cliché. I see that it is a short piece. And I'm at a bit of a loss as to what to bash.
    When I read this I invisioned Robert Frost's less taken road with a single set of footprints settled in the ruts of the soft topsoil. The soil is awaiting a rainstorm to wash away the obvious print, but the soil is forever changed by the passing of the traveler.

    The only bashing would be on the choice of punctuation. This piece seems to be made of only two sentances. I would make it three. Like this:

    A journey;
    Left behind in the dirt,
    Waits for the rain to come
    And wash it away.
    To mix it with the mud
    And blemish the path that was.
    Footprints may only last so long
    For every road has its end.

    Sorry I couldn't bash it more. I couldn't find much wrong with this writing...
    Thanks for sharing!
    -Chell-
    | Posted on 2005-07-11 00:00:00 | by Chell | [ Reply to This ]
      Well I can't really say this poem is vague...but I can say cliché' which I have nor problems with. Cliche' can be good if represented with freshness and passion. Sometimes you can't be too raw with your matter and express everything, in order for poetry to thrive you must depend on the reader, whether you like it or not, you haven't left much here for the reader to gather. It's good, simple, but at
    the sametime...reluctant. Dig deeper.

    Ryan B. Wilbur
    | Posted on 2005-07-11 00:00:00 | by 27_deadpoets | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow I like this. Hmm. I think I like short poems, better than the long ones. I like this. I thought it was gonna be something differant. But I was surprised by your work.. I liked the ending.. for me the whole thing is beautiful and you did a splendid job with it.

    A journey,
    Left behind in the dirt,
    Waits for the rain to come
    And wash it away,
    To mix it with the mud
    And blemish the path that was.
    Footprints may only last so long
    For every road has its end.


    I seriously can't pick a favorite part I like.. I thin k it is all very strong. I love this short poem!
    GOOD JOB

    stephanie
    | Posted on 2005-07-11 00:00:00 | by XxStephyxX04 | [ Reply to This ]
      this is both profound and vague at the same time, but i think it is too vague and that perhaps you are relying too much on the reader to read deeply into this as opposed to tell us what is is you are trying to say. you have uesd analogies that are common and you have not been specific enough in my view to give a personal voice or opinion or message.

    so yes we can apply this to all of our own lives and insert our experiences, but i feel that this is a cheat. this is poetry we have all written but ultimately it is just to open the door to our own voice. it is an easy way out. what about what you want to say? your opinion? what has happened in your life that you want to share with us?

    take care
    indeed

    on1eday.co.uk
    | Posted on 2005-07-11 00:00:00 | by on1eday.co.uk | [ Reply to This ]
      For its shortness...I really enjoyed this...
    "Footprints may only last so long
    For every road has its end."

    The ending is really good...there's no way to criticize this b/c it's true...it's simple...it just is-and that's just fine w/ me...
    so w/ that I leave you and ponder this poem for it's worth-well written.
    stacey
    Bravo...
    | Posted on 2005-07-11 00:00:00 | by idlewriter | [ Reply to This ]


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    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


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