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    dots Submission Name: Just A Kissdots

    Author: Abort_Chaotic
    ASL Info:    19 almost 20
    Elite Ratio:    3.41 - 201/172/50
    Words: 235
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 856
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1462

       Yeah, this is try at something different. Please leave comments. I don't know, new to this love poetry. Sort of...

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsJust A Kissdots

    Already the sun bleeds tears for you,
    the sky, taking it's leave.
    Letting this enigmatic evening commence.
    Fathoming in the quivering stream of saphire, glinting its beauty back, from your eyes.
    From the innocense of your heavenly grace.
    Mezmerized by the forgiving truth.
    Please help, the few inches between your lips and mine feel as miles, as if the feeling felt can only be cured by the syringe of love, that only your lips posess.
    Yet, seing the horizon setting on you,
    Sheltering from the thought that time is running out.
    Musical riffs of new plateu of emotion,
    only at this volume,
    only this moment,
    can this last breath befor the commencing, nothing can come between us.
    This far, there is no return.
    ( I don't see the road signs anymore, just a climbing blur. )
    I move my my arms to hold you closer, curessing it with all the love,
    by istelf bunched into a cluster bound and aching to break free. Gropping at the suttle breaze which radiates with a dusk fragrance, annitiating my move.
    Already tasting your your breath, clinging to my tounge.
    Wrapping my lips about yours,
    hoping I'm not dreaming that those are your hands moving up my neck holding me closer.

    Only to find that day was left in silence,
    from which the last words spoken were not words at all,
    just a kiss.

    Submitted on 2005-07-11 20:07:26     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
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    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      I envy you ... your words seem to flow like a stream but with a passion as high as ocean waves. Great piece. But as a reader I don't want to read words that aren't eye catching. The feeling of the poem is encouraging.
    | Posted on 2005-07-12 00:00:00 | by lmen | [ Reply to This ]
      I think you did good. You made a simple kiss seem more than it was. You added passion...very smooth. I like the way you guided the reader to the actual kiss. Not bad for someone just trying this kind of format out.
    | Posted on 2005-07-11 00:00:00 | by Magnolia Steele | [ Reply to This ]
      wow, nice vocabulary. the imagery is also amazing. however there are some spelling errors, i sapphire, plateau, mesmerised. there are a few others, one or two seem like typos. I really enjoyed reading this, it seemed quite heavy and deep, though the title makes it seem like it would be a light read, which also maked me like the piece more(i love it when the title makes you think something different then the poem!)
    anyways, AMAZING JOB! keep it up! and finally, have an awesome day!
    | Posted on 2005-07-11 00:00:00 | by fabulousAMY | [ Reply to This ]

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