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All she needed

Author: Day DreaMeR
ASL Info:    19/F/somewhere
Elite Ratio:    6.23 - 853 /408 /53
Words: 136
Class/Type: Poetry /Misc
Total Views: 1191
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 870


meh.....i dunno i just wrote this for some reason. im not sure what i think of it. but i want this something ill re-write if anyone has SUGGESTIONS or HONEST FEEDBACK. which would be really nice. so yea.

All she needed

She sat there
With a blank paper
Not sure how to let it out
Her anger, sadness, and guilt
And her fear
Was there a way to write it all out?
A way to lead her back to who she was before?
She still sat there
Tears filling her eyes
Why was she confused?
And lost inside?
She could only manage a few words
Slowly realized that these words
That these words
Were all that she needed
Then found it
Putting those words into phrases
And found that she wrote it
Wrote how she felt
Instead of thinking it
Even though her anger, sadness, and guilt
And fear
Were still there
She didn't feel as lost or confused
Noticing this was all she needed to be
Those words were all she needed
To write this

Submitted on 2005-07-11 21:43:54     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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  This wasn't my was still okay but i think you could have done a better job with expressing yourself through the words and not repeating so much...keep up the writing though! there is definite talent!
| Posted on 2006-04-02 00:00:00 | by i_am_the_disco | [ Reply to This ]
  I like this write. I like the confusion that this girl feels and how she wants to find what she use to be again. Its kind of means to me that this girl had stopped writing and that that affected her tremendlesly and she thought that when she lost her ability that she cahnged and she wanted to go back to how she use to be. Well that's what I got from it and if that is its meaning then i truly do like this write. Thanks for sharing your work, it is really good.

<3 Lauren
| Posted on 2005-12-03 00:00:00 | by Lauren Guzman | [ Reply to This ]
  i really like this poem
it fits perfectly with what i say that writing heals
yes the Good Lord gave us the skill to write for that very reason i strongly believe that
you were right about religion not being a very strong topic in here but thats ok God is the most important person in my life
and I am not afraid to admit that
Good luck with your confirmation classes
trust me theres no greater love than the Love of the Lord

Take Care and God Bless

Thanks for adding evening prayer to your favorites i appreciate it and am humbled
| Posted on 2005-10-19 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]
  I think many poets can relate to this, in one way or another, weather it be them thinking back to their first poem, or their having writer's block, and don't know how to get the emotions out.It's very original, mostly because I don't think anyone writes about not being able to write...It flowed well, overall you did a good job.
| Posted on 2005-10-16 00:00:00 | by camoflage | [ Reply to This ]
  hey this is kind of really good... dont we all write cause we want to get it out of ourselves? There are a lot of questions in this write. and well i guess i also feel like that. sometimes i wish that i could voice my feelings instead of pouring them all out on paper, but then on the other hand its a gift, no?

great work cause you made me realise how lucky we are to have an outlet for all our feelings....

| Posted on 2005-07-30 00:00:00 | by Zu | [ Reply to This ]
  If you replaced the "she" with "he" throughout this piece, it would be me exactly about that situation we talked about. Anyway, I found no problems with this write and found it easily relatable, and that is my HONEST FEEDBACK, lol, sorry about the shortness of the comment, but that's all I can say.
| Posted on 2005-07-21 00:00:00 | by JimweiZERO | [ Reply to This ]
  poetry for me is my release to what i feel. and i often have the same problem where i cant think of how to put what i think or feel on to paper much less to words so i can relate to what the girl in the peice is going through kinda . otherwise i thought it was an alright peice. keep it up...Joy
| Posted on 2005-07-18 00:00:00 | by sweet_rayne | [ Reply to This ]
  This poem would've benefitted from the "progressive description" ex: From the thoughts in my head to the twitch in my fingers to the ink from the pen to the lines on the paper. Just a suggestion, otherwise, reallt good. (i've been going through that too and boy is it frustrating.)
| Posted on 2005-07-14 00:00:00 | by azeremen12 | [ Reply to This ]
  Wow...I can really relate...I have problems somtimes just writing how I feel because there is so much emotion pent up...Its good...I can really relate
| Posted on 2005-07-12 00:00:00 | by deathbelow | [ Reply to This ]
  bren...congrats congrats...right here right here...damn i'm excited...your doing it...your sitting and experimenting...this is how you become a writer...i really feel nothing needs to be changed...seriously...its honest thought...its perfect...just wernt trying to write something you didnt understand you just write...thats how it starts and not ciggs...i quit...hmnnn...candy ciggs
| Posted on 2005-07-12 00:00:00 | by purplesun24 | [ Reply to This ]
  Kelly and Amber said it all. I personally can relate to the poem. Great use of words. Very realistic in the process of formulating a poem. I like this poem alot.
| Posted on 2005-07-12 00:00:00 | by Magnolia Steele | [ Reply to This ]
  good job. i really liked this. it reminded me alot of some important thing about poetry. about how to include certain things. i really liked the flow of this poem. keep it up. kelly
| Posted on 2005-07-11 00:00:00 | by bleedinbabygrl8 | [ Reply to This ]
  poetry is a strong word because there is alot behide a poem.. its the depth to someones soul and feelings.With poetry you can do anything and no one has a right to tell you its wrong or can be free and say whatever is on your mind but for a child that does not know how to express how they feel for the first time its hard for them because they feel so much but dont know how to put it down or say it...As for the poem it was deep it was deep because you talked about you or some person not knowing how to put their feelings out there twoards the world and sometimes people need to know that hey not everone can write perfect very nice job
| Posted on 2005-07-11 00:00:00 | by bluesoxz | [ Reply to This ]

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