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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Twilightdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: rws
    ASL Info:    58/m/ohio
    Elite Ratio:    8 - 2779/1297/258
    Words: 47
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 778
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 355



    Description:
       This was an early work, almost seven years old. It expresses not only what I feel about an individual, but how much I also love the darkness others seem to fear.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsTwilightdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Rub my face
    Against the night
    Every star
    Hung by a string
    Soft as silk
    And beaded pearls
    Teach my madness
    How to sing

    Loveliness
    Is where I�ve been
    Loveliness
    Is where you are
    Darkness has
    Her paramour
    I, my bright
    And shining star




    Submitted on 2005-07-11 22:25:45     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      bill,
    this one is to me as much as an ode to your love as it is the night. it seems like a mid-night tryst to me. one with your lover and one with your mistress, the darkness. i do not think that you are a madman in this piece like alia says. rather, i think you are one with your surrounds, like a chameleon. i believe that you do not fear the darkness because of your eyes. you have the eyes of a large cat on the prowl, a hunter. this is why i think that your poetry takes on this, your style. you as a cat, a wild and fierce cat see things differently than others do. i love the line where you say "rub my face asgainst the night" this is pure passion. for your love and your mistress. excellent work again. there are many treasures to be found in the darkness if one will only look. thank you bill for looking.

    ~john-paul
    | Posted on 2006-06-09 00:00:00 | by rev.jpfadeproof | [ Reply to This ]
      This is how I prefer poems to be, short, captivating and clever. Well done on this one
    | Posted on 2005-12-24 00:00:00 | by Senna27NZ | [ Reply to This ]
      Very good. I like it. I have to disagree with RedRoseofBlood. This piece is simple, yes, but it seems to make it better BECAUSE it is simple. I make no sense.
    ^_^

    ~Miku~
    | Posted on 2005-07-12 00:00:00 | by WindEmpress | [ Reply to This ]
      well i thought this was pretty good. i like how u just described your feelings toward darkness. but im not quite sure about the ending. but otherwise good job!

    brenna
    | Posted on 2005-07-12 00:00:00 | by Day DreaMeR | [ Reply to This ]
      I disagree with maggie. I think your other poem was far better than this one. Not saying this is bad, but it didn't do anything for me.
    LeAnna
    | Posted on 2005-07-12 00:00:00 | by RedRoseofBlood | [ Reply to This ]
      This much better! I like this alot. By george, I get it. I told you, you knew how to use words poetically. This was a good poem.
    Maggie.
    | Posted on 2005-07-12 00:00:00 | by Magnolia Steele | [ Reply to This ]


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