Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Fallendots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: rws
    ASL Info:    57/m/ohio
    Elite Ratio:    8 - 2777/1297/258
    Words: 78
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 674
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 499



    Description:
       This might not be anyone's cup of tea (or plate of meat). It was written about the same time as the tribute for my wife, and it's my wrestling with the balance of spiritual and physical love.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsFallendots
    -------------------------------------------


    I left the ascendant spire
    With part of you encased
    In a carapace of desire
    Hushed as the wonderment of grace

    Not to culminate in death
    (Nothing so common formed the story)
    But simple inspiration came
    And Im not certain of its glory

    If I were to burn in hell
    Would all my whispers burn as well?
    And if I were to rise to heaven
    Could those same whispers be forgiven?








    Submitted on 2005-07-11 22:35:44     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      It's hard to pinpoint just one of the feelings I see in this piece. You showed me fear and uncertainty, but somehow love as well. It's hard to explain, but I see a beautiful array of color with this, and though I can't put it in to words, I do understand it.
    Wonderful job on the rhyming through the first and second stanzas, and I like how it changed in the third. Well done, I hope to read all of your works eventually, because all that I've seen I've enjoyed.
    | Posted on 2005-07-28 00:00:00 | by Celeste J. Bell | [ Reply to This ]
      I think you did a good job in writing this. Very descriptive and inviting to the readers imagination. I'm not sure exactly what reaction you were going for, but it gave me a dreamy sense of wonder feeling. Good work.
    LeAnna
    | Posted on 2005-07-12 00:00:00 | by RedRoseofBlood | [ Reply to This ]
      I read your description, and still had trouble understanding it. You can use words poetically, but the poem itself does not tell you a theme for what the reader is reading. Good use of imagery though.
    Maggie
    | Posted on 2005-07-12 00:00:00 | by Magnolia Steele | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    66197

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    A Sense Of Things written by Daniel Barlow
    (Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal
    A bit of Pain written by teika5
    Delicious Stews written by elephantasia
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    Florida's Autumn Solstice written by closetpoet
    Whispered written by endlessgame23
    A Worsening Effect written by Daniel Barlow
    Deep written by Janesaddiction
    Rooted in Nature written by Chelebel
    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox
    Adoration written by TheStillSilence
    Compartments written by TheStillSilence
    Johnny's Cock written by endlessgame23
    Hyle written by endlessgame23
    FamiliarDemons ©™ written by kyserin
    Night- time written by Daniel Barlow
    Beauty Rest written by jackz
    Ciggarettes written by Poetic_tragedy6
    untitled written by Outlaw
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    Sword in the Water written by Wolfwatching
    Relentless. The Visceral Fracture. written by Daniel Barlow
    Snippet written by Daniel Barlow
    Day 6 written by TheStillSilence
    Mystery Read written by kyserin
    A Thousand Reflections written by endlessgame23
    Starseed written by endlessgame23
    When Sirens Whisper written by HisNameIsNoMore
    None the Wiser written by endlessgame23

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry