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    dots Submission Name: Fallendots

    Author: rws
    ASL Info:    58/m/ohio
    Elite Ratio:    8 - 2778/1297/258
    Words: 78
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 699
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 499

       This might not be anyone's cup of tea (or plate of meat). It was written about the same time as the tribute for my wife, and it's my wrestling with the balance of spiritual and physical love.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    I left the ascendant spire
    With part of you encased
    In a carapace of desire
    Hushed as the wonderment of grace

    Not to culminate in death
    (Nothing so common formed the story)
    But simple inspiration came
    And Iím not certain of its glory

    If I were to burn in hell
    Would all my whispers burn as well?
    And if I were to rise to heaven
    Could those same whispers be forgiven?

    Submitted on 2005-07-11 22:35:44     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      It's hard to pinpoint just one of the feelings I see in this piece. You showed me fear and uncertainty, but somehow love as well. It's hard to explain, but I see a beautiful array of color with this, and though I can't put it in to words, I do understand it.
    Wonderful job on the rhyming through the first and second stanzas, and I like how it changed in the third. Well done, I hope to read all of your works eventually, because all that I've seen I've enjoyed.
    | Posted on 2005-07-28 00:00:00 | by Celeste J. Bell | [ Reply to This ]
      I think you did a good job in writing this. Very descriptive and inviting to the readers imagination. I'm not sure exactly what reaction you were going for, but it gave me a dreamy sense of wonder feeling. Good work.
    | Posted on 2005-07-12 00:00:00 | by RedRoseofBlood | [ Reply to This ]
      I read your description, and still had trouble understanding it. You can use words poetically, but the poem itself does not tell you a theme for what the reader is reading. Good use of imagery though.
    | Posted on 2005-07-12 00:00:00 | by Magnolia Steele | [ Reply to This ]

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