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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Amazing Gracedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: elohimswork
    ASL Info:    30/M/Chi
    Elite Ratio:    4.54 - 76/96/39
    Words: 894
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 308
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 6779



    Description:
       this has been re-submitted and has a grown folks tone and is kind of long.....


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsAmazing Gracedots
    -------------------------------------------


    "Amazing Grace..."

    "How...sour the sound..."

    -Amazing Grace
    to all the baby's holdin guns
    at a early age,
    using that steel to direct their rage.
    -To all the families with family
    illegally caged.
    -4 the next generations of our
    daughters being broken in
    by family and so called friends.
    -To the bullets
    that were the last
    to touch our loved ones.
    leaving our
    streets stainded
    with there red rain.
    -All the women
    livin under the heel of violence.
    -4 them dead beat daddy's
    that pump, pump pass
    leavin their Johnny apple seeds
    in some new ass
    but never want 2
    come off that cash.
    -To them fucka's steady
    passin disease's
    to our sons and daughters
    knowin they got it...
    -All the families
    around the world
    that have 2
    drink dirty water.
    -The babies, friends and families
    that got caught up in
    America's War on terror.

    Amazing Grace...is my current sate.

    Now...
    There was a girl
    who...
    someday
    could...hold the world...

    THE...WORLD...

    in her...palm...
    but she was only
    able to see her esteem
    through...
    the
    reflections...
    the
    house...of...mirrors
    of the
    next mans...eye's.

    supplied with a
    angelic face
    that stood out in any place
    my...first
    Grace.
    how Amazing.

    sensous vocals
    that could
    tickle your ear lobes
    have you wishing
    she'd get a little closer
    givin you...
    more of that
    nectar.
    wish she would've
    stayed a virgin
    but to many suitors came her way
    with intentions of tenderizing that veal.
    must've been that
    Sex Appeal.

    Actually...
    heard about her
    before I caught her in my eye.

    walkin the block
    one of my guys yelled out
    "Yoh!! Joe there she go"
    "who"....
    "Grace".
    Broke my neck quick
    she had a...
    baby Jessica Rabbit.
    I think back....
    "Lord have mercy.......what a waste".

    It took a......
    man...an some
    gender peer pressure
    to introduce her
    to...
    weed and hard liquior.
    Damn Devils knew
    affection for attention
    was a young girls affliction.
    so they...
    persued there endeavor
    to...
    weaken her inhibitions.
    so she...
    traded her
    womanhood 4 attention.
    then her...
    2 other sista's
    fell in line right behind.
    3 black girls lost
    before they got a chance 2 start.
    all because no one taught Grace
    there's more to her face
    then her...
    cherry D.S.L's
    2 breast...
    her ill "V" neck waiste & tail.

    Felt animated
    like that fox
    thats never been to the city
    when she came around.
    Oh... & of course
    I feel in line with the rest of the hounds
    lookin to get my pound
    of...flesh...

    Now
    rumor told
    she had multiple train conducters.
    but that
    fazed me not.
    caught her at a party one night
    thinking it was safe
    cause my girl had just took flight
    20 minutes ago.
    got caught up 4 it
    but thats another story.
    wound up walking her home
    thats when I saw her...

    "Color Purple"...

    How...Beautifull...

    instead of that...
    "Purple Rain"
    she was steady
    splashin in.

    got past her physiology
    and saw she wanted 2 be
    more than someone's
    "Darlin Nicky".
    took time to treat her...
    like a woman
    not a thing.
    actually listen.
    walked on the left
    2 shield her from the street.
    good conversation insude
    got 2 her place
    gave her a hug
    watched her walk in
    2 make sure she was safe.
    a smile took control of her face.
    a couple weeks after
    heard Grace dropped out of school
    with a second baby on the way.
    then half a decade later
    her baby's daddy...
    was pimpin that ass
    hard around the Blvd.

    thats life...scars...

    Another black woman lost
    and the children
    are left 2 pay the cost.

    I guess you can say
    she never realized
    that their between
    her thighs
    lyes a jewel
    not a tool;
    sought out &
    most commonly used
    by fools.

    what a...State
    4...Amazing Grace.

    Grieving 4
    Rampant, & random
    Acts of
    Crime
    Everywere

    -I'm giving
    Amazing Grace 4 all the ladies having baby's
    riding that horse, sippin on them bottles of
    courage an letting that Tobacco and rock
    rott them out.
    -Baby's havin baby's A.G.
    -To that cool cat from school, who caught
    one in the brain, all because his guys wanted to
    false flag in the wrong hood one day. A.G.
    -To T.J. I've known you everysince we were
    in P.J.'s. Yeah we grew apart but it still broke
    my heart and tore me apart to see you in that
    casket.
    I miss your potential and heart... A.G.
    -To my daughter Cheyanne who didn't make it
    to her 9th month so we could finally touch. A.G.
    -To all the people putting holes in someones else's
    dreams. A.G.
    -To all the families that are happy to eat twice a week,
    and would rather sleep in a car than lay in the street.
    use your imagination 2 escape your pain,
    but please keep your mind, nose, and veins clean. A.G.

    This is dedicated to you...And all the Grace's across the globe.

    I think forward and back Grace could leave a trail of tears across my face...

    Amazing Grace...is my current state....



    4 fingers an a pen poetry...




    Submitted on 2005-07-12 18:08:21     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I think that you are the biggest breath of fresh air I have gasped in a long long long time....


    Beyond my sister there have been few posts that have made me cry...and I'm not talking about a tear shed....this had me in tears....maybe because I can see my own A.G. in this....Maybe because you reminded me of many A.G's I once knew...in any case.....It definetely caused this once numbed reader to feel......


    Tink
    | Posted on 2006-07-27 00:00:00 | by Brownsdelight | [ Reply to This ]
      This started really strong, then got even stronger for me. great story telling and colorful images, but the speed picked up near the end and left me on the side of the road, to watch this one drive away and slow down without me on it.

    Bah but who am i kidding, i went back and got on from that point, great ride though unfamiliar streets
    | Posted on 2006-05-16 00:00:00 | by deadsqrl | [ Reply to This ]
      Such a sarcastic piece at times. Yet, all full of reality. You touched many places here that many wish to have over seen. Not many can step out of their own world and think of anothers. Especially of those that are less fortunate.

    Sorry to hear bout your daughter. I have one of my own and I know the love that I feel for her and could never imagine. I too lost a child as well though. He never reached birth....but the love was still there. And to some it may sound mean or bad for me to say....but if I was going to lose him....it was better the way that he went. Not as much of an attachment was there. Yet, days do go by I wish to hold him.

    You gave all of this a light. And you presented it in a way that no other could have.

    CONGRATS!

    Much love,

    Li Li
    | Posted on 2006-03-27 00:00:00 | by Munchie_1226 | [ Reply to This ]
      bless yo! i am feeling this piece all tha way! i am currently speechless too. i don't know what i want to say. but i give you your props on this. it is sad, but not too many people know this story. they see it in movies and television shows, but those two mediums are forms of entertainment. so therefore the reality of it doesn't seem real! and i thank you for enlighting different faces with this piece. if you haven't already begin letting everyone here it! people say ignorance is bliss, but at the sametime ignorance causes casualties! peace & bless.
    | Posted on 2005-07-21 00:00:00 | by L.i. | [ Reply to This ]
      Nothing bad can come from a poem written straight from the heart and filtered through the soul... you've done an amazing grace to this site by submitting this poem... i can't critique something of this kind of quality... but i can help you correct a few obvious mistakes... about halfway through you talk about "Purple rain" but the word "purple" above that is spelt funky... you might wanna correct it to add to the quality... aaaand i thought there was somethin else but now that i look back i don't really notice... which means it wasn't that big and didn't take anything away from the poem... I'm glad i took the time to get all the way through this... it deserves a lot of respect... and so you have mine... take care of yourself my friend...

    Travis
    | Posted on 2005-07-12 00:00:00 | by Mwa Ha Ha Ha Ha | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow!...After reading it the first time, I was speechless. This is one hellofa poem. Some might not get what you are saying, let me tell you, you created a masterpiece. In order to understand a person would have to know what is going on out there. If you are not exposed to reality, you have no clue. You can make a person get a picture of what the happening is by the words you chose. The way you started is the intro to your story and then you jumped into your write full force. You broke it down. This kind of living goes on daily. I see it, you've seen it and now others will know from reading your piece. I love your ending, the ideal spirit of dedication. This was beautiful. Your poem was a story within a story for all to see. Thank you for writing such a "true" piece. Take care, wanda
    | Posted on 2005-07-12 00:00:00 | by bigfineq | [ Reply to This ]
      i want to thank everybody for taking the time to give feedback on this poem...
    i wrote the title down one day and the poem just came another...
    all based on true events
    i hope it touches some and open the eye's of others

    thanks again..

    one...
    | Posted on 2005-08-05 00:00:00 | by elohimswork | [ Reply to This ]



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