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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Emotionaldots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: lethargic_me
    ASL Info:    15,chick
    Elite Ratio:    3.15 - 74/87/22
    Words: 57
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 257
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 339



    Description:
       It's about how I feel when I'm writing. I start slow but then all the confusion and hurt I was feeling just pour out. Can you feel it?


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsEmotionaldots
    -------------------------------------------


    Insecurities flow out of me as I brandish my heart on my pen. Unmistakable sadness is pulled from deep within. A torment of lies my tears are bittersweet. Grief stricken and restless.
    I stagger to my feet.
    On contrary to popular belief I'm not suicidal.
    But I'm drowning in my tears, my life, and my sorrow.




    Submitted on 2005-07-12 19:51:23     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    3: meh!
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    ||| Comments |||
      short and sweet. But didn't give me much feeling. It was interesting but just to an entry level. It didn't seem to go far and wasn't giving a message. Not that it was pointless instead it just seem too short to be noticed. I would elaborate more on why your thought of suicidal and why do you feel sorrow and if so is it about yourself? I just think it would be so much more with elaborate expression BUT simple.
    | Posted on 2005-07-14 00:00:00 | by lmen | [ Reply to This ]
      Hi welcome to Elite!

    Something about this screams "good"

    Maybe (we're not supposed to say this...sshhhh) I relate a bit too much to it, dunno, anyway, no criticism from me, I quite liked it.
    Be Happy

    Graeme
    | Posted on 2005-07-12 00:00:00 | by wewak11 | [ Reply to This ]



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