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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Night in the Jumbledots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: beatthedrum
    ASL Info:    55- F - Southern CA USA
    Elite Ratio:    4.18 - 881/810/122
    Words: 104
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 907
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 901



    Description:
       The uneven pace and format is meant to give this a jumbled feel. It is a collection of quick glimpses much as a photographer might take a series of shots. Each is its own picture but together they tell a much deeper story.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsNight in the Jumbledots
    -------------------------------------------


    Cutting a trail
    through the urban
    jumble.

    Caffeine and
    nicotine
    are the drugs
    of choice.

    Doctored,
    living some
    I presume.

    Iced coffee
    old town
    Summer night
    at a table
    sidewalk smoking section
    with poetry and journal
    discussing altered
    consciousness,
    God, shamans,
    soul retrieval
    and a year of sobriety.

    Then talk of
    Blue Ridge Mountains,
    Smokies,
    California beaches,
    careers and school.

    How long?
    Where?
    Till when?
    Friends?

    Then gone,
    and no need
    for more.

    The path
    to here
    overgrown
    disappears
    as if it never
    existed.

    Lost again
    but moving
    on




    Submitted on 2005-07-12 23:30:47     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      a few moments in time that seem to last for aeons.. sitting at a sidewalk table talking to a stranger about all that life encompasses... then she's gone and disappears into the overgrown path.
    we learn something from these encounters that leave us to ponder and keep moving.
    nice slice of life Chrys,
    @ Cat
    | Posted on 2005-07-13 00:00:00 | by magnicat | [ Reply to This ]
      So I'm not going to interpret this because it seems Nansofast did a pretty good job at doing that already. But I will comment on your style which seems quite Sylvia Plath-esque in the brevity of the lines. The occupation of a small lines helps the reader mull over the meaning of each word and its importance to the piece. I'm not quite sure if that's what you wanted but that's what was accomplished. Your diction is wonderful as well as your sentence configuration which are the two things I look for in a poem because they are important in establishing rhythm, and you've created a pleasing rhythm, considering your purpose for your structure.
    So overall je l'aime/me gusta/I like it.
    | Posted on 2005-07-13 00:00:00 | by Ziplock006 | [ Reply to This ]
      Dr. Livingstone, I presume? and night in the jungle are punography, I recognize. But the meaning of this I can only assume met with a satisfaction of knowing each other's path must keep moving. There is work to be done, and no one ever leaves do they? So how could saying goodbye make one ounce of difference? And while the world might look as though it's in a jumble, the ebb of the Divine is always right there. Because the Goddess is doing the wash for us.
    Always here to inspire me, aren't you?
    Nan
    | Posted on 2005-07-13 00:00:00 | by nansofast | [ Reply to This ]


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