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    dots Submission Name: Nothingnessdots

    Author: darkness child
    ASL Info:    21/F/Michigan
    Elite Ratio:    3.07 - 195/266/48
    Words: 157
    Class/Type: Poetry/Longing
    Total Views: 847
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1107

       I tried....I had no real point to this....thing.....but tell me what you think anyways. Please????

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    I'm whispering to you now
    I am too afraid to be outspoken
    I only whisper
    Can't you hear me?
    I knew you wouldn't...
    You never could.

    Mist and memories are all I am,
    Caught up in the moment of death,
    I drift through my dead life alone,
    And no one stops to help me.
    No one stops to console me
    And I don't fault them, really I don't.
    How could anyone feel sympathy towards me?

    Leave me alone....I don't know how to breathe.
    I hate so much.....
    I love too much.....
    A love which isn't returned....
    My love is never returned

    I'm screaming, but my voice is silent.
    I'm seeing, but I'm blind.
    I'm feeling, but I'm numb.
    I'm so tired of being alone.

    Whispery voices are calling to me...
    I cry in return for relief....
    Pixies and nymphs dance all around....
    They're lilting voices drug me....
    And I finally sink into nothingness.....

    Submitted on 2005-07-13 16:28:58     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      im in the same boat as end mypain i get it but it hard to say and Yclips made a good point that it didnt really have anysort of flow eith though i still like the poem
    xox rahcel
    | Posted on 2005-07-13 00:00:00 | by nobody6 | [ Reply to This ]
      Hmm... It was a nice poem, but it didn't have any sort of flow to it. It was really rough around the edges Perhaps you should make some of your stanzas shorter to help the fluidity.

    -please remember to look at my latest poem it didn't show up on submissions. thanks-
    | Posted on 2005-07-13 00:00:00 | by Yclipse | [ Reply to This ]
      i get where you are goiing with this but i do not know how to put it into words but iw ill try i think this is a girl who goes through life very unnoticed.she doesnt have any real friends and she is longing for people to just notice her...
    | Posted on 2005-07-13 00:00:00 | by endmypain | [ Reply to This ]

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