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tired


Author: fallingingreen
ASL Info:    18/f/missouri
Elite Ratio:    3.56 - 136 /141 /34
Words: 583
Class/Type: Misc /Misc
Total Views: 1159
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 3564



Description:


i feel like shit.


tired



biting at acrylic-paint stained fingernails
i guess a girl needs to learn when to take a hint
the days are passing like seconds frozen in a stopwatch
5:43 and it just keeps falling more and more apart
faded into that person who's easy to forget about
as easy to erase as crayon marks on white walls closing in
thanks to mr. clean, and your cold heart
wrapped in clichés
just like everything else in this world
naive and blind i guess
for seeing what i believe in
as clearly as those back yard blow up pools
two feet deep
when you first fill them up with clean water
straight from the hose
only after thirty minutes
all you see
are streaks of mud caking into the fun

taking pills to kill the pain
even though they never work
trying hard to keep it down to two
instead of downing the whole bottle
and leaving nothing but the twisted cap

drive away into the distance
leave me behind
you swore melting into the ocean
like quick-sand..
god you swore it would be okay,
but look at everything now
i never said i believed in the kind of heaven the gospel talks about
i don't even believe in god right now
but i still,
i have always believed in angels

and at times even angels know when to let you down

on silver strings attached to wings
they watch you as you hit the surface

like bungee jumping with your heart detaching on the way

we drove as far as we could again
just to try and lose ourselves
but in a town like ours
the streets are maped onto the back of our hands
memories invading into our silly escapades
we ran out of gas anyway
so the park took us into its arms
with wet grass that stuck to our thoughts
while two kids fucked on the top of the playground
man did they scare the shit out of us

i hate how they raped that spot
the one where you and i stood kissing
in the middle of our game of lava tag

sometimes i need to just let things like that go
just let it go

but
it hurts to breathe
it hurts to move
it kills me to live
the closet door keeps opening
i keep waking up drenched in sweat
with nightmares where a tall guy wearing glasses
asks me what my last wishes are
the story books lied
when they said the grim reaper wore a cloak
no, this one's too rich for that
just let it go..

just let it go

it's barely 6:06 right now
and the only reason i'm attempting to write
in such a depressed mind-state
is to keep my hands busy
from doing something worse
migrane number one meet migrane number forty-two
collide into an explosion
so i can rest in peace
underneath your blue blanket
while the boxes of my stuff just sit and stare
i thought all of this would be over by now
but it keeps on piling up
breaking down
just let it go

let it go

true friends know how to hurt you the most

just nail me down tonight
so that i can hold on
there is a time to stop..
i think i will fade out of this now

i am letting it all go.




Submitted on 2005-07-13 19:18:52     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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Comments


  Late night loney
Sleepless insanity
Sunset sadness

Thats how I describe the feelings that keep me awake at 5:30 AM on a tuesday, with no purpose to solve or bring resolution to anything, they haunt me, these thoughts of endless confusion like mellowdramatic sandcastles met with high-tide, it's the end of the only beautiful thing I've ever created, and I can't sleep, laying there in wonder, but what am I to wonder about? So I write, letting words flow from my veins, never re-reading, never looking back, just writing, writing like I breath, so voluntary, I don't even think about it, my mind tells me a story and later I will find out what it is, this alternate ego inside me, taking over, at 5:30 AM, when it's time for the world to be sleeping, here I am

Late night lonely
Sleepless insanity
Sunset sadness
| Posted on 2005-07-17 00:00:00 | by UnspokenDreamer | [ Reply to This ]
  Very touching. I hope you find some peace of mind soon. This was a deep, deep poem. Very direct. Easy to read and understand. Your pain was the backsplash of the whole thing. It was easily felt. I could relate to it aslo. Keep up the good work.
Maggie
| Posted on 2005-07-13 00:00:00 | by Magnolia Steele | [ Reply to This ]
  this was pretty damn good lady, another favorite. you have a way of bringing the times and trials of the younger way of life, with the complexities of larger problems. thats why i like the writings so much. my best friend jusr got married and hes gt a kid on the way, now when i come home, no more david, what was once our town, only one left...but he'll do better where hes goin...and i'm happy about that...but at the same time...i'm the only one left. if you let it go...it hurts after a while, but in time, my friend...in time...it leaves. good write.

-austin-
| Posted on 2005-07-13 00:00:00 | by austin | [ Reply to This ]
  Hmmm...berry berry haunting tale here. Longing and suffering and put together quite well I may add. Such emotion. Have a good one and keep smilin'
Very well written...cant really say much more than that.
| Posted on 2005-07-13 00:00:00 | by hyproglo | [ Reply to This ]


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