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    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: A Prostitutedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: vedanta19
    Elite Ratio:    3.3 - 492/502/133
    Words: 193
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 307
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1278



    Description:
       a rough draft


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsA Prostitutedots
    -------------------------------------------


    The billboard dances in gaudy colours,
    pink, yellow and blue - unmatched, rude;

    Slowly, the hot day translates in soft night,
    rainy, dark and tired;

    Men, in sweaty suits
    driving, cursing, speeding - sing along, the local radio station;

    Children at supper, full of dislike
    with noisy tantrums over spinach and soups;

    A normal day, reports the television channel -
    A general weather, skirts back in fashion and world peace conference;

    In a dark alley, a pretty girl -
    awaits with loud make-up and bad accent;

    Sometimes a mercedes zooms past,
    sometimes a new sports car,
    Some - looking for lust,
    Some - looking for love;

    This pretty girl, once with dreams of dolls and fairy tales;
    A reality - unexpected,
    A dream - unrealized,
    A compromise;

    The shadow of now,
    Darker than, sweet memories of yesterday;

    A little later, a black suv waits by her,
    She looks at me, waves a kiss and leaves-
    as always;

    I smile back, close the curtain,
    read my book - as always;

    Somewhere we are all same - I sigh.




    Submitted on 2005-07-14 07:36:15     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      very amazing! i love the imagery! my favorite part has to be -
    A little later, a black suv waits by her,
    She looks at me, waves a kiss and leaves-
    as always;

    I smile back, close the curtain,
    read my book - as always;

    Somewhere we are all same - I sigh.
    - those last lines just tie it all up. they have good emotions and this is a very good poem. also the beginign is very well written. it shows that what the prostitute is doing is just as normal to her as men driving in cars or teh children at supper. its just her job. it doesnt mean its her choice. very good keep up the good work :) hope to read more from you :D
    Ashley
    | Posted on 2005-09-07 00:00:00 | by star_on_fire22 | [ Reply to This ]
      Hell, yeah! It's so dark...poignant...I felt like I was there. I think it's incredible... if this is just a rough draft, well, geez. You've put me to shame. Keep it up!
    | Posted on 2005-07-14 00:00:00 | by Raivn | [ Reply to This ]
      This is very powerful...
    I love they way you have written it by putting in images with word play...

    A little later, a black suv waits by her,
    She looks at me, waves a kiss and leaves-
    as always;

    I smile back, close the curtain,
    read my book - as always;

    Somewhere we are all same - I sigh.

    That is my favorite part of the peom,
    it's almost a sad ending note.
    | Posted on 2005-07-14 00:00:00 | by Jakirina | [ Reply to This ]
      Very nice! Very nice indeed! This part really stood out:

    This pretty girl, once with dreams of dolls and fairy tales;
    A reality - unexpected,
    A dream - unrealized,
    A compromise;

    I have two daughters so this hit home. And "a compromise." Ain't that the truth Life IS one big compromise.

    I, too, sigh.

    !n3pt
    | Posted on 2005-07-14 00:00:00 | by _n3pt | [ Reply to This ]
      wow...another good piece. I still cant get over "The Waiting Room". Anyways on to this piece. The images you portray are quite powerful and very descriptive. I sort of pity the prostitute leading the life of a lust slave...but then again i pity her not because it was her choice to do so.

    I smile back, close the curtain,
    read my book - as always;

    Somewhere we are all same - I sigh.

    When you say we are all the same...what do you mean by that? The only thing I can think of is that we are all slaves. I don't know that part caught my attention. Anyways I like this, its nice and sad. good job.

    later days
    tracey
    | Posted on 2005-08-02 00:00:00 | by fiery_eyes | [ Reply to This ]
      absolutly amazing, and very true, too many girls have to do that and its really saddening.

    The shadow of now,
    Darker than, sweet memories of yesterday
    A little later, a black suv waits by her,
    She looks at me, waves a kiss and leaves-
    as always;
    I smile back, close the curtain,
    read my book - as always;

    Somewhere we are all same - I sigh.

    Definatly my favorite part, but this was really powering, keep this up.

    LiLian
    | Posted on 2005-08-24 00:00:00 | by morbidkittie | [ Reply to This ]
      I enjoyed this very much. I love realism, I like the image you put together here. Prostitutes are looked upon as urchins...lower then low. When someone is brought to the point of extreme hunger, that someone will eat anything. I put this next to prostitution, everyone turns their noses, but in another situation, another circumstance, it would be them. Great job.
    | Posted on 2005-08-25 00:00:00 | by Malcolm Bishop | [ Reply to This ]



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