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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: I Need a Beginningdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: HurtDeepDown
    ASL Info:    24/F/OHIO
    Elite Ratio:    4.2 - 165/161/42
    Words: 119
    Class/Type: Poetry/Happy
    Total Views: 812
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 741



    Description:
       This is just about taking all of the negative stuff and throwing it away. Just not paying any attention to it and starting out new. Kind of weird that I am submitting this cause I am probably in the grumpiest mood ever right now-I didn't get enough sleep :(


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsI Need a Beginningdots
    -------------------------------------------


    I strech out my night's anger,
    with my window open,
    so a huge breeze can tug it's arms at it,
    and blow it away.
    The pressure holding me back,
    will then step out of my cold body,
    and leave me warmth.
    My mind will take a deep breathe,
    and refresh back from confoundedness,
    to retrieve my better emotions,
    and smile again..
    Not only will my yawns persist,
    to select new air for me to live on,
    but a new sun will appear outside of my window,
    for me to take in some new light.
    And during the night hours,
    my mind will regain strength,
    as my dreams pass by,
    and my eyes will again awaken,
    to a new light.




    Submitted on 2005-07-14 10:36:58     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Sounds like a dream hehe or a bed time story... ah if we all could get a good nights sleep...writings one of the best ways ti get rid of negativity. Take care I hope you get your Z's lol
    | Posted on 2005-07-14 00:00:00 | by Emmalee | [ Reply to This ]
      I liked the premise for this piece too! To get rid of the bad and replace it with the GREAT! I do that sometimes, put negativity into a pretend bubble and blow it all away. This is a piece with a hopeful promise. I really enjoyed it!
    Love,Peace,Joy!
    | Posted on 2005-07-14 00:00:00 | by Epiphany | [ Reply to This ]
      Bravo! that's when to write your positive ideas, when your feeling down. For some reason they take on a life of their own and you find nuggets of inspiration in the dark. You have some great lines:

    My mind will take a deep breath.
    And
    but a new sun will appear outside my window.

    That's good stuff. One can use whatever means they chose to shake off the chains of sadness as long as it works. It's all in our heads anyway, aint it! Nice job, Dan
    | Posted on 2005-07-14 00:00:00 | by dmm | [ Reply to This ]
      I really like the idea of this poem. It has a happy ending. And that seems to be a pretty novel idea around here. I've been kind of looking for this is my life. A new start -- a new beggining. The last two lines are wonderful, it is all of our prayers.
    | Posted on 2005-07-14 00:00:00 | by vbnz | [ Reply to This ]
      This is a very hopeful piece. I admire how you built it up from sounding not so sure, then raised its strength. I like the attitude, and the drive in this. Very believable, and well packaged :) Great job.

    *hugs a plenty*
    ~Avry~
    | Posted on 2005-07-14 00:00:00 | by SouthrnQT | [ Reply to This ]
      this piece leaves alot of room for hope and a better tomorrow. great attitude and outlook on thins. also percieved in a unique way. great job
    xoxomuchlove-ash
    | Posted on 2005-08-14 00:00:00 | by DanceADream | [ Reply to This ]


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    66535

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