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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: untitleddots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: unnatainable
    ASL Info:    20/F/Australia
    Elite Ratio:    3.07 - 48/42/23
    Words: 72
    Class/Type: Poetry/BrokenHeart
    Total Views: 1066
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 462



    Description:
       well i remember when i wrote it i was feeling so sad. i dont know of good it is poetic theory wise it just kinda come out. tell me what you think of it tho..


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    dotsuntitleddots
    -------------------------------------------


    sitting in my room
    with a knife in my hand
    comtemplating life
    forget the bigger plan
    frame by frame
    im feeling, bleeding

    you braught me to the edge
    slammed the blade down faster
    ever after, gone away
    theres nothing you can say

    im sorry i left this way
    dangling by a thread i miss u
    to sad to cry
    too stained to die

    my curse is life




    Submitted on 2005-07-15 00:21:33     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      In ever single one of your poems, I can invision everything, you have AMAZING imagery, I don't know which one to add to my favorite first 0_o
    | Posted on 2006-08-16 00:00:00 | by Fadeintoreality | [ Reply to This ]
      DEEP!!! I'm sorry an optimist is about ctitique your poem. But you gotta admit, pen to paper is better than knife to neck. Anyway, the imagery was great, i'm not a person for meter so i won't even try to talk about thatm, it seems like there is a deceptive double meaning somewhere, and the poem altogether very much seems peotic: i see no reason not to call this a poem. Wow this is strange: the optimist likes the suicidal poem. yikes. I think you explained the gist of the situation but maybe extending the peom would make it clearer (but that would also make it more personal). ok, taht's all from me. Love Life!!!
    God bless. ~Yele
    | Posted on 2005-09-23 00:00:00 | by Dalja | [ Reply to This ]


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    January 10 07
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