callus

Author: sudie ASL Info:    18/ f / virginia Elite Ratio:    4.33 - 182 /195 /51 Words: 23

Class/Type: Misc /Misc Total Views: 1161 Average Vote:    No vote yet. Bytes: 170

Description:

---

callus

---

a callus on the foot of humanity she's blistering with imperfection smeared with a medicinal ignorance she is quietly filed away

Submitted on 2005-07-15 09:26:45     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Edit post

Rate This Submission

1: >_< 2: I dunno... 3: meh! 4: Pretty cool 5: Wow!

Comments

i'm with raineyes on the standing up and clapping thing, although i'm sitting down because i'm extremely lazy and you can't prove if i'm standing or not or even really clapping for that matter. lol. okay, okay, i'm standing and clapping inside my head - good enough? this is awesome. short, but extremely awesome. Hope all is well with you.

| Posted on 2005-07-19 00:00:00 | by painofthanatos | [ Reply to This ]

Wow! *stands and claps loudly* I love this peace. The wording is perfect. It's real. It struck me because I am as the person in the poem is. a callus on the foot of humanity she's blistering with imperfection that's my favorite part. It's awesome! I loved the whole peace though! 2 thumbs up! *claps more*

| Posted on 2005-07-15 00:00:00 | by Raineyes | [ Reply to This ]

This is absolutely beautiful! I love it! The wording here in simply amazing and I think the message here is fantastic! Again, the line breaks are perfect and I don't really have anything bad to say about this. Like a said before, try adding some punctuation, though with a piece this short it isn't really too important. "Smeared with medicinal ignorance" I loved that. Another wonderful piece! Keep up the good work!

| Posted on 2005-07-15 00:00:00 | by Babysweet56 | [ Reply to This ]

This was quite powerful. I've always held that short poems are the most poignant because of how much can be packed into so few words. Brevity is a skill all writers should practice more often. Your imagery is very strong and original. You take chances in your work that most authors would back away from. I admire that in a poet. Keep pushing the boundaries and you'll go far. drowning_queen

| Posted on 2005-08-04 00:00:00 | by drowning_queen | [ Reply to This ]

Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

1. Be honest. 2. Try not to give only compliments. 3. How did it make you feel? 4. Why did it make you feel that way? 5. Which parts? 6. What distracted from the piece?

7. What was unclear? 8. What does it remind you of? 9. How could it be improved? 10. What would you have done differently? 11. What was your interpretation of it? 12. Does it feel original?

66671