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ivy dew

Author: sudie
ASL Info:    18/ f / virginia
Elite Ratio:    4.33 - 182 /195 /51
Words: 51
Class/Type: Misc /Misc
Total Views: 1087
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 418


ivy dew

the dew drops reflect
pink clouds
settling in the distant stratosphere
billowing slightly
in the miniature
as they rake down
the poison ivy
that carefully surrounds my feet
in leaves of three,
freezing upon contact with the ground
to form
puddle icing
idley glowing
in an effervescent sunset.

Submitted on 2005-07-15 09:31:39     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!


  that was really interesting. and you used a big word that made me pull out my dictionary *mumble mumble mumble*
but considering your focus is posion ivy it's surprisingly beautiful. I haven't added anything on to the faves in a while, this will be a nice addition.
Glad to see you're still writing over break and I hope you're not allergic :P
| Posted on 2005-07-19 00:00:00 | by painofthanatos | [ Reply to This ]
  this was interesting. I liked it. the imagery was beautiful and the words exquisite. It was soft and beautiful and relaxing. The way you described it made it sound so. . .trapped but yet free. there were a few problems. It was slightly hard to read b/c of the format. Commas or periods or just the way you set up the lines could fix it up.

I really like it! :)
| Posted on 2005-07-15 00:00:00 | by Raineyes | [ Reply to This ]
  I liked this. The imagery was beautiful and it had a very calm and peaceful tone, making it a nice read overalpll. Where you broke the lines was chosen well and I don't really have any issues with the flow. I really liked how you didn't capitalize the first letter of each line, which is something that a lot of people tend to do. I used to do it myself until someone pointed it out to me in a comment and since then I only capitalize the first letter of a sentence.

The only thing I do want to mention, however, it that you might want to go back and add some punctuation here and there for the sake of the flow. A few commas and a period or two could make a world of difference to someone reading this.

Anyway, this was very nicely written and I hope to read more from you soon!

| Posted on 2005-07-15 00:00:00 | by Babysweet56 | [ Reply to This ]
  A nice poem, though the word is spelled "idly". Virginia, huh? Without bias, I find remarkable the Southern talent for words, greater on an average than other regions. It shows here.
| Posted on 2005-07-15 00:00:00 | by fredmelden | [ Reply to This ]

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