Leave and Forget by Day DreaMeR

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Submission Name: Leave and Forget dots

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Author:	Day DreaMeR
ASL Info:	19/F/somewhere
Elite Ratio:	6.23 - 853/408/53
Words:	93

Class/Type:	Random Thoughts/Longing
Total Views:	396
Average Vote:	No vote yet.
Bytes:	598

Description:
mmmm whatever this is something i wrote last night. so yea leave some comments.

Leave and Forget dots

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I'll never forget
Never forget this place that changed me
Brought me misery
And hurt

I want to leave
Leave behind those nights I cried
And would leave mascara on the sheets
That stay as remains of my sadness

I want to close every door
All the doors that hold these memories
Shut them
And hope my mind can get rid of these memories

I wish I could be back
In the place where sadness could hardly exist
Where doors are open holding happy memories
And forget this all

Submitted on 2005-07-15 11:20:24 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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1: >_<
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||| Comments |||
  I like this write. Its good...I especially like how you expressed how she would leave her mascara on the sheets. That was a good detail. I think that even though we all want to find a way out, we have to battle what hurts until we have conquered it. I also think that memories can never me erased whether good or bad, but they can on the other hand be put in the back of your mind. Things we do and people we meet will always make us grow stronger as humans have the ability to learn from mistakes or things they have gone through. Its the beauty of life. Good write. Hope to read more of your writes soon. bye. Lauren.
| Posted on 2005-12-07 00:00:00 | by Lauren Guzman | [ Reply to This ]
  Brenna
I like this poem

You my Friend have already lost a lot of negativity that brings you down I speak truefully when I say your positivity radiates
Trust me your comments always pick me up

Stay as positive as you are
It will carry you to more positives

Take Care
Ron

And also I really blew it on that haku attempt
Thanks for commenting on it though
I think im gonna stay away from them for awhile
They are not as positive as a full poem to me

Take Care
Ron
| Posted on 2005-11-12 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]
  i just wanna tell you... don't wear makeup to sleep! ok that's totally random

ok i can relate to what you mean with going back to when sadness hardly existed since that's totally what i want to do but i've dug myself a grave so deep i can barely see the light any more.

it seems like there was an event that changed your life yes? that's what happened to me, except my life was changed by my choice,not an inevitable.

ok that's considered very deep and open for me so keep on writing until your pain has subsided!
| Posted on 2005-07-31 00:00:00 | by LoneWolf | [ Reply to This ]
  the maskera is one of the part is one of the most parts that stuck. it really pulled ur attention 2 that part and thats a good thing 2 do but u need 2 now how 2 controle that. at lest i think.
it was verry good tho the first i read of urs and it was good maby if i read more i might find a more fave but for now this will be my fave of urs.
| Posted on 2005-07-20 00:00:00 | by patrick o_riley | [ Reply to This ]
  i like this bren...though...the mascara part i'm not sure about...eh...i see other people liked it maybe i'm just weird...very relatable piece...i think it could use a little tweeking...but i knowe you can do better...cheeseballs and skittles...ange
| Posted on 2005-07-19 00:00:00 | by purplesun24 | [ Reply to This ]
  wow this is really good. i mean i can relate to the whole wanting to shut out the things that hurt and forget all the pain and saddness as well as the tears. i think everyone has that tho but your way of puting it down i think says the message really good well atleast better than i could have put it so great job keep it up...Joy
| Posted on 2005-07-18 00:00:00 | by sweet_rayne | [ Reply to This ]
  I love this. For random thoughts, it flowed beautifully. I could relate to the feeling of needing to get up and go. You wrote this so well. I think it should be a theme song for leaving.
Maggie
| Posted on 2005-07-15 00:00:00 | by Magnolia Steele | [ Reply to This ]
  I like the message, but It seems a little uniform. maybe you should change it up a little. Like find a synonym for the word memories. You use it a lot. Otherwise good work. :P
LeAnna
| Posted on 2005-07-15 00:00:00 | by RedRoseofBlood | [ Reply to This ]
  I love this...I've been there. It's strange how just an outpouring of emotion can make for some of the most beautiful and vivid work written. If you're not serious about this, I'd love to read something that you are serious about.
| Posted on 2005-07-15 00:00:00 | by Raivn | [ Reply to This ]
  This was a really good poem...I liked how you said 'And would leave mascara on the sheets
That stay as remains of my sadness'
That provided really good imagery.
This was a short poem but very meaningful...
You did an awesome job...

...farewell...
| Posted on 2005-07-15 00:00:00 | by jessie thomas | [ Reply to This ]
  I thought it was pretty good.I saw images of what you were describing which means I can,and probably many other readers,can relate to what you were saying here.I don't see anything wrong with it,so...good job.
| Posted on 2005-07-15 00:00:00 | by ColdinSummer | [ Reply to This ]
  Wow this was great...I think a lot of people can relate to this...I love the part about mascara on the sheets and shutting the doors that hold bad memories, I thought that was a really poetic way to put that...and cleer as well.You seem to be an awesome writer.Good Luck to you in the future.
| Posted on 2005-07-15 00:00:00 | by lori_tab | [ Reply to This ]
  Thank you for your comments on my writing In The End ... I just read this one and if i had'nt glanced at your bio would never have thought your age so young. .I can feel your hurt in your words and see the tears . I like this A LOT . Very moving. Thank YOU
POPPA JON
| Posted on 2005-08-02 00:00:00 | by poppa jon | [ Reply to This ]

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