Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Sexy Dancedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Raivn
    ASL Info:    33/f/al
    Elite Ratio:    4.28 - 1222/916/231
    Words: 165
    Class/Type: Poetry/Passion
    Total Views: 745
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1001



    Description:
       Let him read it and he was like...that's so wrong...What do you think?


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsSexy Dancedots
    -------------------------------------------


    Sit right here in this chair
    Keep your eyes on me
    Don't ask me any questions
    I promise you'll like what you see
    Keep your hands down by your side
    Don't you dare try to touch
    This is about what I can do to you
    And baby, I can do so much
    I'm wearing the dress you bought
    I start to wiggle my hips
    Slide my hands down my body
    Slowly lick my lips
    I shake my ass for you
    I do my sexy dance
    I touch myself for no one but you
    And you're dying for your chance
    I dance in my "stripper" shoes
    Strut across the floor
    Bend over to give you a peek
    Pull off a little more
    Wearing only this dress
    I grind against your lap,
    Suck your fingers, lick your lips,
    Toss aside your cap
    I shake my ass on you
    I do my sexy dance
    I take my clothes off for no one but you
    Baby, here's your chance...




    Submitted on 2005-07-15 11:51:12     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Well now...this certainly did start of with a hot cha cha full of visuals...it was the art of seduction...however it seemed to lose my intrest in some spots...some revising would definitely land this puppy on my fav lists.

    Keep up the good writes...and for Heaven's sake...offer your readers a cold shower! lol ;)
    | Posted on 2005-07-20 00:00:00 | by Brownsdelight | [ Reply to This ]
      I like this...
    I enjoy the idea of seduction, kill them softly, make em ache.
    But as you have read my piece "Not Quite Enough" I am sure you can just imagine some of the flash backs this gave me... dancing for pure seduction will never be the same...
    **sigh**
    But despite the memories this brought back... I enjoyed it. Thank You.
    ~Bonnie
    | Posted on 2005-07-19 00:00:00 | by pretty_kitty | [ Reply to This ]
      God damn this was sexy, i'm mean seriously really sexy. i let my friend Josh read it and i think it gave him hard-on. gross i know, but in a demented way its a compliment. anyways this rocked and it will be one of my favorites, keep writing.
    | Posted on 2005-07-18 00:00:00 | by lethargic_me | [ Reply to This ]
      I know what I'm about to say will make me sound old, but don't substitute a momentary rush for happiness. Sex throws the earth off its axis, but it can't be compared to love. Make sure you don't get hurt. The poem itself is a sensuous flirtation, just don't live up to it. Shalom.
    | Posted on 2005-07-15 00:00:00 | by rws | [ Reply to This ]
      like your pic i wrote a poem story called raven my version and was advised after posting that Poe owned the title anyways great piece it sounds like you had a great time with this great write and read
    sandman
    | Posted on 2005-07-15 00:00:00 | by sandman | [ Reply to This ]
      well heres something that isnt about suicide for once. lol. well ill say i found this whole thing good as a poem but wow there were a lot of details which yea made it graphic. but i found no problem with that. it had a nice rythm/flow to it so that was interesting. ur brave to write about what u did cuz i sure as hell probably wouldnt post anything like this. good and interesting job.lol

    brenna
    | Posted on 2005-07-15 00:00:00 | by Day DreaMeR | [ Reply to This ]
      I liked this a lot. It's usually a hard or uncomfortable subject for people to write about, sex, bj's, stripping, etc, u kno that whole catagory. lol. but u did u very well! I really enjoyed reading this poem! I hope to read mroe of your work. peace out

    -amanda
    | Posted on 2005-07-15 00:00:00 | by ilikescreaming | [ Reply to This ]
      this poem is very open and honest, i like how you are direct to the point and very exposed about how comfortable you are with your own sexuality. it is like a love letter for adults, very sexy, very sensual. when he said 'that's so wrong', i hope he had at least a smirk as he said it
    | Posted on 2005-07-15 00:00:00 | by onepieces | [ Reply to This ]
      " and baby, i can do so much" that is [censored] genuies .../. you rock .../ " and your dying for your chance" / great tease! . i love it !
    keep writing and keep posting!
    J W I
    | Posted on 2005-07-15 00:00:00 | by J W I | [ Reply to This ]
      Aww...it was a bit graphic but that was kinda the point I suppose. I liked this poem. It was very well written. Very good job my friend...

    ...farewell...
    | Posted on 2005-07-15 00:00:00 | by jessie thomas | [ Reply to This ]
      I thought this was awesome...it even had a dance kind of rhythm to it...which just added to the write! Very well written...and hell yeah, I think every woman knows what you mean by the sexy dance and so does every man..lol...I liked this a lot...and I think what you wrote is probably like every man's dream! :) Great job! ~hailie~
    | Posted on 2005-07-15 00:00:00 | by loveispain | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    66689

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Tartarus written by endlessgame23
    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (5) written by endlessgame23
    (Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal
    untitled written by ShyOne
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    When Sirens Whisper written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Still Perfectly Flawed written by armand
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (4) written by endlessgame23
    winners circle written by ShyOne
    Physician, Heal Thyself written by WriteSomething
    The Unicorn written by BlazeFlamme
    I, Plutarch written by HisNameIsNoMore
    prison written by ShyOne
    Angel Eyes written by poetotoe
    Florida's Autumn Solstice written by closetpoet
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (2) written by endlessgame23
    Journey written by endlessgame23
    My Four Seasons written by faideddarkness
    Suffer The Children written by poetotoe
    Cover written by saartha
    mimicry written by expiring_touch
    To the Devil and Candle written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Birds of a Feather written by poetotoe
    Shut Up written by annie0888
    The World written by jjd
    Life is moments written by Ramneet
    Comme un lion en avril written by Outlaw
    Vortex: The Imagination That Is written by KeeperOfLight

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry