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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Lustdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: lethargic_me
    ASL Info:    15,chick
    Elite Ratio:    3.15 - 74/87/22
    Words: 64
    Class/Type: Poetry/Comedy
    Total Views: 273
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 454



    Description:
       This is just me being me.And no it's not about me at least not of all of it.*winks*


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsLustdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Touch me here,
    kiss me there,
    lick me everywhere.

    Make me laugh,
    make me smile,
    I know it sounds vile.

    Bite me here,
    claw me there,
    holy shit I'm gonna swear.

    Use your hand,
    you're the man,
    Did you say your name was Dan?

    What the hell,
    I don't care,
    I let you ride me anywhere.







    Submitted on 2005-07-16 01:35:41     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      haha! omg dont we all feel this way sometimes. lust makes us do or maybe just think some odd things. and ya know all the licking and touching and biting is not vile! hahaha this was great. and the whole dan part, wow that made me laugh so hard.
    -steph
    | Posted on 2005-07-31 00:00:00 | by playcrackthesky | [ Reply to This ]
      this was pretty funny and pretty good and i thought u could use alittle help on the ryming it starts then it stops . other than that it was good. hope to hear from you and keep up the good work.
    | Posted on 2005-07-16 00:00:00 | by theman | [ Reply to This ]
      that's a cool poem, the thythm and beat is very nice. plus the length is just right to enjoy it without being repetitive
    | Posted on 2005-07-16 00:00:00 | by onepieces | [ Reply to This ]
      lol...omg. i love this poem. yes, it was sor of short, but as long as it got your point across...which it did, then it's okay. the funniest line was
    "Did you say your name was Dan?"...lol.
    | Posted on 2005-07-16 00:00:00 | by Mahoganii | [ Reply to This ]
      Lolz... that's quite amusing.

    Short and sweet. I don't know if "I know it sounds vile" really goes well with the piece... but I don't have any suggestions on that one.

    I really like the "Use your hand, you're the man" part. Haha.
    | Posted on 2005-07-16 00:00:00 | by mmmb0p | [ Reply to This ]



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