Description: This is a song written about a girl I think I might be falling in love with.
Don't you hate that feeling where you've already said certain words too many times for them to mean as much, but you desperately want them to retain meaning?
Caitlin's Song -------------------------------------------
There's something they
Cannot possibly get
It has to do
With the blood in my sweat
It has to do
With your face on the side
Of every lyric that
I'm desperate to hide
And the way
I stare
And that rush
Of fear
I lay awake
In a Paris hotel
I shouldn't know
But already can tell
I bet my life
On the edge of a kiss
Your ball is thrown
It's a swing and a miss
And I know
You're gone
But I swear
You won't be when I'm done
I've said the words
To a grievous amount
How many times
I could never account
I'd like to prove
That this time it's the truth
You laugh it off
And we're losing the couth
So I'll die
And decieve
But at least
In dreams, you'll never leave
I'm driving home
And it's 2:35
My words are dead
But my pain is alive
I see you there
On the side of the street
There's nothing left
For my heart to defeat
And you know
I lied
Every time
I ever said goodbye
The ending was the greatest. I'm starting to really like your work, dude. <3 I have to admit though, I think your poem had a bigger impact on me because Cyndi Lauper's Time After Time is currently playing for me in the background. :)) As bittersweet and great the ending was, the starting was equally awkward. But I did enjoy this piece. It's sounds honest. Like you picked out a page from your life and decided to post it on EliteSkills. Nice.
I usually don't like love poems, but you did a good thing writing that in the description, it kept my attention...
I think it's a beautiful poem, I didn't pay much attention to rhyming, rhythm or style...but that's probably a good thing...being that I was so enchanted by your poem I could only keep my mind on the thoughts flowing thru the poem...great!
This is a great peice! I read it because of the title, Caitiln is my name as well. So I read this and I really liked it. In some parts it seems to me that the rhyming was forced like in the 8th stanza. But other than that this was really beautiful. I hope she knows how much she really means to you. I wish you the best.
Yes, I get you there my friend, with the words and the meaning thing but my opinion is that you can never say words too many times but they do seem to loose their meaning with certain people.
To the write, and I could relate very well and thought that the rhyming all the way is nice but not over-repetitive which I think is the basis for a good song, so this was a nice read and hell, I feel you, man. Keep going though.
I really like this...what a poignant way of not being able to let go of someone or something. I love the last part- ...And you know I lied every time I said goodbye. I feel you, man. I think goodbyes are always a lie. This was beautifully written.
Submission Name: Caitlin's Song
