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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Whendots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Shadows Life
    Elite Ratio:    4.4 - 127/127/27
    Words: 149
    Class/Type: Poetry/Dark
    Total Views: 916
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 864



    Description:
       hmmm somber sad mood i just kinda let the images flow and i dont know lol i came up with this


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsWhendots
    -------------------------------------------


    when life comes to its bitter end
    when hope dies and brave men bend
    when angels offer not their feeble prayers
    when shadows fall yet no one cares
    when all thats good staggers dies
    when the truth is but a mask of lies
    when time stands still and heroes fall
    when champions answer not the call
    when the ocean stops its ebb and flow
    when the stars above cease to glow
    when lifes meaning seems to fade
    when no dying tree can offer shade
    till that day you have my heart
    till that day tears us apart
    till that day of woe and fears
    till that day i live in tears
    and when all my tears are shed
    that day shall come to name me dead
    and i shall whisper with a final breath
    i love you still for love is death.







    Submitted on 2005-07-17 10:07:29     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      The repetition of the first word is great. The way you described things really made me focus more.
    I loved it. I would put it as my favorite actaully.
    I love the ending...the way if flows..everything about it.
    Good write. It's very powerful.

    --Fearless
    | Posted on 2007-09-09 00:00:00 | by Fearless | [ Reply to This ]
      The ending is really good and true "love is death" it is the most deticated thing you can do for love is to die. And death is constant and so is love this is a good one. I didn't think I would like it at first because of all the rhyming but I actually like this one.
    | Posted on 2005-07-21 00:00:00 | by chemberdan | [ Reply to This ]
      Oh i got so many chills at the ending ....Im not a huge fan of the 20 question start there....but the ending was worth it ...This is very pretty ....sad and dark ...all those things i love ...so good job
    | Posted on 2005-07-18 00:00:00 | by Krysti | [ Reply to This ]
      this is so beautiful but also so sad and i adore the line :

    When no dying tree can offer shade.

    really moving piece , great wording , great flow
    just great
    keep it up
    take care
    Lainie x
    | Posted on 2005-07-17 00:00:00 | by lainie75 | [ Reply to This ]


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