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    dots Submission Name: Love Letterdots

    Author: dreamweaver
    ASL Info:    28/f/WI
    Elite Ratio:    7.22 - 1022/443/42
    Words: 93
    Class/Type: Poetry/Longing
    Total Views: 1037
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 661


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsLove Letterdots

    As I write this,
    I'm reminded of how it used to be.
    unwilling to die,
    tender caresses,
    silent whispers-
    Just knowing,
    never needing to speak.
    All the mystery behind your sweet smile-
    All the time wondering what you were thinking,
    as you gazed into my eyes-
    though I never really needed to ask-
    I felt the same.
    You gave me life.
    honest and true,
    the purest emotion ever felt.
    As I close,
    I'm reminded of how we said goodbye-
    that strong embrace I may never feel again.
    My Sweet Love.

    Submitted on 2005-07-17 14:50:28     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      You are one of the best free verse writers I have ever had the pleasure of meeting. You are so grand did you know that? This write evoked so much emotions in me as I read this. Love and sadness and the works. Keep up the great work and you keep on writing always. Much love and God bless.

    Thanks so much for sharing.

    Your friend and fan Jason.
    | Posted on 2006-04-29 00:00:00 | by Departed One | [ Reply to This ]
      Very sad poem, but this was one of your earlier efforts and i can only hope that the situation for you has changed since the time of writing this.

    There aren't that many words used (which is not a bad thing), and it is a rewarding read but maybe you could put a few more words on each line.

    Actually having said that, I'm not sure you should. I've just realised that when I give people advice on poetry, I'm really saying "Change this and change this so your poems are more like mine"...i don't do that intentionally it just happens. I wonder how many other writers do this.

    So basically, I'd like to revise my advice to you, and change it to "Just be yourself its a good poem and ignore everythign i say".

    This is possibly the most confused and confusing comment i've ever composed, but i mean well!

    Haha good luck and thanks for sharing this poem with me.

    Ps. I'm not mental, honest!
    | Posted on 2005-12-23 00:00:00 | by Senna27NZ | [ Reply to This ]
      I almost cried while reading this one. but is it a "poem" within a letter? If it is, wow, that's new: SWEET!
    1st thought: Awww
    2nd thought: *sniff*
    3rd thought: how the heck do i critque such good stuff? = ohh! i get it: the title then the poem, of course! Great job. 5!
    | Posted on 2005-09-23 00:00:00 | by Dalja | [ Reply to This ]
      This...hits me hard...unexpected finding this work...not expecting the emotions I am feeling at this very moment. May ever feel again? To me it is never to late, you just have to be willing when the heart tells you it is right.
    Thank you for writing this.
    | Posted on 2005-07-23 00:00:00 | by MidnghtScorpion | [ Reply to This ]
      Wonderfully written! A poetic letter.. reminds me of the Brownings writes, only this is about a love "that was".
    I like the way you used the - 's. It added to the read. The breaking of each line was also well done. And your words were very well expressed... I was in the moment... feeling the emotions...and that strong "goodbye" embrace.
    Very nice read!
    | Posted on 2005-07-18 00:00:00 | by Intricate1 | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow, I really was expecting you to hit me at the end, but you really meant it!

    It left such a melancholy feel, especially as the build-up had me anticipating the punch line, so I guess that also added to the wistfulness I felt afterwards.

    The title is perfect, and the poem excellent.

    be Happy

    | Posted on 2005-07-17 00:00:00 | by wewak11 | [ Reply to This ]
      The beginning of this really had me. It pulled me into that rush of first love reminiscene, but then it just kind of dropped me into nowhere land. The "closing" seemed to come a bit too abruptly after all of the descriptive emotion. There was no transition between the two, perhaps you are still unsure of the middle so chose not to write on it. There's a big jump from perfect to goodbye.
    | Posted on 2005-07-17 00:00:00 | by jaycee | [ Reply to This ]
      This is beautifully sad! Very sad indeed! Makes me wonder why you said goodbye. It seems as the feelings were there and still strong yet you say goodbye? This is very well written and full of emotion yet I am left puzzled. Something so right yet so wrong? Hmm...? Take care!
    | Posted on 2005-07-17 00:00:00 | by lmz | [ Reply to This ]
      ahhh... this DOES read out like a letter. and with such heartfelt passion and sorrow that is evident throughout. love is a fickle b*tch at the best of times... but that's just what i think. lol.

    to me, this was the last letter to your love, written with your very blood and tears... after your last kiss goodbye forever. it's always painful each time, isn't it? i hope you've moved on from this, truly.
    | Posted on 2006-04-20 00:00:00 | by jetstream_candy | [ Reply to This ]
      I thought this was beautiful, sad but beatuiful nonetheless. I was a little confused with the...

    as you gazed into my eyes-
    though I never really needed to ask-
    I felt the same

    Is that how it should be? Or should it be though you never really needed to ask-? Just wondering... anyways I love how you did " as I write this"... "love"..."whispers"... and wrote about each of them underneath although still in the flow of things.. anyways I really liked this.. Keep up the great writing!
    | Posted on 2005-08-24 00:00:00 | by manderz_1207 | [ Reply to This ]
      this is so sad. I get the reflection of the beginning all the way towards the end that there was a great love there. the goodbye may mean the position taken, cirmumstances that cause a broken heart and/or it may mean saying goodbye to your own heart, you are/where becoming hardened. one goodbye can have a multitude of hidden meanings. whatever the case is/was it is very sad and I hope you have many blessed days, mike :)
    | Posted on 2005-07-17 00:00:00 | by inspirit999 | [ Reply to This ]

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