[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: this is for u Suedots

    Author: patrick o_riley
    ASL Info:    16, male, ontario
    Elite Ratio:    3.94 - 70/91/25
    Words: 139
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 875
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 898

       this is to manny of my friends not just "sue". my friends (at least some of them) are going through some hard times so im writnig this for them. hope u enjoy.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsthis is for u Suedots

    This is a poem dedicated to you,
    It might mean something or not.
    You know that people love you too,
    And we really think your hot!

    Don't become all weight conscious,
    Its not a cool thing too do.
    Don't take drugs; some will make you unconscious,
    We all feel for you Sue.

    Pleas don't be mad at what we have to say,
    We are trying to help.
    Pleas pay attention and don't dismay,
    Everyone who helps.

    I'm just saying this to tell you we care,
    So please don't kill yourself.
    We really not trying to get in your hair,
    We are just trying to help your health.

    We just writing this to say we care,
    Not to be cruel and mean.
    You know people don't really stop to stare,
    That idea's just really quite obscene.

    Submitted on 2005-07-17 17:54:48     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      wow i really like ur writing style too! this was nice. i have friends who are just like urs and its hard isnt it? they want to do all these things that arent worth it cuz i would be at a huge loss to me. i really dont think this is elementary. but o well i guess different people have different opinions on poetry. lol. well thats all for now... hope to hear more from u and ill take a look at some more of ur stuff. and can u read my second most recent write and tell me what u think of it??? thanks!

    | Posted on 2005-07-20 00:00:00 | by Day DreaMeR | [ Reply to This ]
      Lol I love the way you write... it's adorable. SOOOO many errors in grammar though! Watch out for that! I think this is a lovely poem because you care a lot about your friends and that makes me happy! Not to be offensive, but your writing is a little elementary... but worth the read because it's just so darn cute.
    | Posted on 2005-07-17 00:00:00 | by lorn_strixx | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]