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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Truly Wonderfuldots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: SorrowfulMind
    ASL Info:    18/Female/Alton, IL
    Elite Ratio:    3.34 - 27/39/13
    Words: 114
    Class/Type: Poetry/The pain inside
    Total Views: 1429
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 634



    Description:
       This is my way of expressing a relationship I had. I am quite fond of this one.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsTruly Wonderfuldots
    -------------------------------------------


    Come to me, ye free of heart,
    And help a girl so torn.
    She came so locked and torn apart,
    A girl so shelter born.

    Take her there and teach her right,
    Teach her of the pain
    To be neglected, day and night,
    And always take the blame.

    Teach her of the happiness
    When who she loves will show
    Just who she is, "the very best,"
    And he'll "never let her go."

    Teach her how to understand
    What he will never know.
    Teach her how to make a stand.
    For true love, she must know.




    Submitted on 2005-07-18 01:41:07     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Hey this was brill i not criticising but i think that you should'nt have explain it in so much detail at first. it a difficult one cos if you had'nt we would all have different pictures swirling around inside our heads, but then because you did we all have your pictures inside so we know exactly where you're coming from so it's best to leave things as you feel they should be eh?
    What i'm trying to say is it was good and i did enjoy reading it. Looking forward to more from you. Check out my work and let me know what you think
    Thanks
    John
    x
    | Posted on 2005-07-18 00:00:00 | by hammyj | [ Reply to This ]
      

    your subject is real...the rhythum of a broken heart longing to be made whole ...that's all of us...you spoke to me...through your poem...after all that's what poetry is about, isn't it?

    thank you
    | Posted on 2005-07-18 00:00:00 | by lawrence | [ Reply to This ]


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    66972

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


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    January 10 07
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