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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Natural Emotionsdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: lmz
    ASL Info:    40/female/USA
    Elite Ratio:    8 - 3433/1529/84
    Words: 142
    Class/Type: Poetry/Nature
    Total Views: 706
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 961



    Description:
       Emotions expressed as only "she" can


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsNatural Emotionsdots
    -------------------------------------------


    A bright, sunny day when she is happiest
    Displays her favorite color in an endless blue sky
    A soft, gentle breeze to soothe her soul
    Admiring her creation with a peaceful sigh

    Her sadness shed with a dark, cold rain
    The depth measured as tears fall from her eyes
    Expressing pain as only she knows how
    Replenishing the earth as she cries

    Her anger erupts in a violent fury
    Thunderstorms spawn tornados from above
    Lightening bolts of destruction seen within
    As the madness and hatred she lets go of

    Passionate love released in a magnificent sunset
    Colors blending so perfect and true
    She paints the horizon as her heart sings
    Desire creates this breathtaking view

    She too, feels emotion
    Exhibited in a variety of ways
    Beautifully nurturing yet destructive
    To be admired till the end of days




    Submitted on 2005-07-18 08:03:33     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I have to agree with the comment above. You really are very good and your take on things is quite unique and different to any other writer on here (apart from me) !

    Mother Earth, by definition - is a woman and after all is said and done, woman are superior to men. A superb write.
    | Posted on 2005-12-21 00:00:00 | by Frank Maguire | [ Reply to This ]
      Personify God as a woman? Thats cool, most of the poems i read about God are badly written, without much itteligence behind them. You writing, all of them, show a much more mature, more intelligent form than most of the teenage writers on elite. I enjoy reading you works very much, simply because they all are up to par with great writing, instead of some being good, while others are not so good.


    ~Kane~
    | Posted on 2005-11-23 00:00:00 | by Kane Martyr | [ Reply to This ]
      I really feel a lot of your pieces because you recognize and illustrate the symbiotic true relationship between all life and it's, to me, more than personification it's poetic explanation.
    This was a good piece for me to read today and I thank you for sharing!
    Love,Peace,Joy! tif
    | Posted on 2005-11-17 00:00:00 | by Epiphany | [ Reply to This ]
      Very nice. Everybody hears about "Mother Nature" but that's often we stop the personification at the name. I think this is wonderfully written (as always) and very unique. I've seen a person's emotions descibed like something natural, but never the opposite. Until now. Exceptional.
    J
    | Posted on 2005-07-29 00:00:00 | by bentnotbroken | [ Reply to This ]
      ok first i'll start with {language expression} it's a compilation of words/lines that I like that hook me ito the poem. "Displays her favorite color in an endless blue sky" and "A soft, gentle breeze to soothe her soul" nice "Admiring her creation with a peaceful sigh" wow the entire 2nd stanza. the first three lines of the third stanza. the entire fourth stanza. "Beautifully nurturing yet destructive" ok this will be another favorite. I can tell allready. {connectivity and conflicts.} I see all the verses and lines themselves sharing a harmony to each other in a beautilfully descriptive way. {moods} v 1 uplifted v 2 awe v 3 calm v 4 calm and wonder v 5 morose v 6 sad (even though it just rain but you have made the tone sad) vs 7-8 intense sadness v 9 fearful (cowering type) vs 10-11 feeling danger v 12 fear (respectful type) v 13 very warm feeling v 14 warm/ thankful v 15 warm yet almost flighty feeling (biased to sunsets :) ) v 16 appreciation v 17 sympathic almost (sounds crazy) v 18 happy/ hyper v 19 mixed emotions v 20 admiration/ respect/ awed/ and happy overall this piece had so much emotions and rare in this to have such distinct emotions for almost every line. actually no analysis is needed here all of the words are pretty much self explanatory. {chronology} I have to add the element because I feel you can have a whole days worth of events happen like this the sun shining, followed by darkened cloud, then a storm hits and then a magnificent sunset. it makes this piece even more awesome. {rhyming structure} if you just look at the rhymes themselves you get aa, bb, cc, dd, ee. all the rhymes are perfectly fit and go very well with the context. {overall} this piece is rich in beauty. it has well displayed verses and stanzas. the point is quite clear it's a love and yet respect/reverence the power of nature. {opinion} i love this entire work, every single word. sorry i couldnt give a line by line analysis this was very clear. youll tell me if im missing something im sure. i hope i did ok.. . fav fav fav fav. mike :)
    | Posted on 2005-07-23 00:00:00 | by inspirit999 | [ Reply to This ]
      i like the way you have personified nature here, using her tears as rain, her passion in the sunset, her fury in thunderstorms... very effective and vivid in imagery. you've done a wonderful job.
    peace&ease
    @ Cat
    | Posted on 2005-07-22 00:00:00 | by magnicat | [ Reply to This ]
      Awesome! Absolutely awesome. It was so descriptive and beautiful and deep and everything! You should be really proud of this one, I don't remember reading any other of your pieces but now I'll have to because this is so good. The descriptive ways to describe each emotion is beautiful and powerful. Incredible imagery formed with this, the flow and rhyme were flawless.
    Laura-Grace
    | Posted on 2005-07-19 00:00:00 | by dark-red-pain | [ Reply to This ]
      This was a terrific piece! There is nothing I would change and quite frankly I am awe struck with how you wrote this. Taking tears and turning them into something positive 'replenishing the earth' - the whole thing was amazing and now one of my faves! Thank you so much for sharing this incredible piece!
    Candi
    | Posted on 2005-07-19 00:00:00 | by dreamweaver | [ Reply to This ]
      Alright, I have never even attempted to try and compare mama nature to an earthly woman, but this write you got here...well only a woman could do it so eloquently and so perfectly. This was by far the most celebratory and powerful nature write I have ever had the pleasure to read. And as much as I love and appreciate creation and all its brilliance...well...this was truly awe inspiring. You have such a talent for raining down the thunder in a beautiful and breath taking way...this is solid proof of that. Have a good one and keep smilin'

    Replenishing the earth as she cries

    Brilliant!
    | Posted on 2005-07-18 00:00:00 | by hyproglo | [ Reply to This ]
      I see this as Mother Earth herself. This is a beautifully descriptive piece. Reminiscent of the writings of Mitchner, who used the seasons and the earth to describe different times and passages in his writings. Truly passionate, leaving us in awe at the beauty and brutality of raw nature.
    Well done!
    Carol
    | Posted on 2005-07-18 00:00:00 | by wannabe1 | [ Reply to This ]
      well again im going to have to agree with raivn. but i also think your poem was so much more then that. i liked how the poem all of a sudden turned from dark to light. it reminds me of how sometimes just after a big thunder storm the sun comes out and you know everythings going to be alright.

    my favorite line was:
    Expressing pain as only she knows how

    great expressions and this poem created a wonderful immage in my mind

    keep up the work
    xoxoxomuchlove-ash
    | Posted on 2005-07-18 00:00:00 | by DanceADream | [ Reply to This ]
      I second the comment left by Raivin. This is a powerfully felt piece. All the emotions of this woman expressed here in various, descriptive, and vivid ways. Wonderfully done.
    Not sure if this is YOU or someone you know, but you have painted the picture in a way that we, as the reader, can envision and feel.
    Great talent. Keep writing...and take care!
    ~Sandra
    | Posted on 2005-07-18 00:00:00 | by Intricate1 | [ Reply to This ]
      wow, that was powerful. I get a picture of this strong vibrant woman...and the earth lies at her fingertips and she is one with it...and i can see her hair blowing in the storm of her emotions...this is gorgeous, vivid writing. You are a really incredible artist, painting this picture with your perfect words.
    | Posted on 2005-07-18 00:00:00 | by Raivn | [ Reply to This ]


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    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


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