Description: The promise is in the poem...kind of in between the lines i guess...well, like it says, i made a promise, tried to fight, but lost in the end...tell me what you think of it please, i don't think it is the greatest...but then again...i did write it...well enjoy.....
Forgive Me -------------------------------------------
Please forgive me,
I desperately seek your guidance.
I don't know what to do,
And despite my efforts to fight,
I am losing the battle.
Please forgive me,
I have broken my promise,
But there was no other way out.
In a dark world,
I cry for help,
I look for love.
But in darkness,
I am trapped...
And I die.
Please forgive me.
I desperately search for you.
For your hand in darkness,
Your love in obscurity,
But I can not find you.
I search in fear.
I am sorry!
Please help me.
Once again my blood pours!
This cursed blade has found me again!
I need you.
Hold me tight.
Heal my wounds.
And save me again.
i really like this writing , it is so dark .. i love it ! and becuase you used simple words that make this writing feeling in my dark site ! becuase of what has happened with my ex girlfriend .. i love it and i like this words most :
In a dark world, I cry for help, I look for love. But in darkness, I am trapped...
Once again my blood pours! This cursed blade has found me again! I need you. Hold me tight. Heal my wounds. Forgive me, And save me again.
amazing ... last week i wrote something like these one .. wow .. hope to read more of your writings and ... can you read my writings too ? and give me some feedback ? thank you !
Nathan, i enjoyed reading this (i'm glad you posted something i'd never read before) it was creative and had a nice flow, you could really feel the emotion, the sadness behind this...the only thing i would change is the line that says 'heal my wounds' i don't know why, but it just doesn't seem to fit with the reast i think mostly its just the word 'heal' that doesn't fit, you should change 'heal' to 'bind' or something...anyway keep writing
Powerful. . .and lonely. I really like this-it's not often one cries out for salvation, especially repeated salvation and I think you've really captured something with your wording; the last five lines really bring it home though; great job.
Good write! This is very powerful and full of despair. I can feel the desperation within the words! I understand how this feels. I have searched, at times in my life, for guidance and a strong hand to hold, only to be left alone. I have at many times questioned my beliefs and my faith, wondering if I have been misguided. I like how you aren't afraid to screw up and ask again for help. This is deep and spiritual and very good! Take care!
good job! i liked the poem it was very beautiful yet so sad. its a talent to be able to make something so sad, so beautiful. Please forgive me, But I desperately seek your guidance. that part doesnt really make sense to me. if it were my poem, which it is not i would say this: please forgive me, i desperately seek your guidance the only word that doesn't make sense is but.
great poem with a beautiful and sad immage. xoxoxomuchlove-ash
Oh, that's nice. I mean, it's sad...but it's very pretty. Crying out for salvation...again. You're a very good writer. This is vivid...reminds me of my salvation poetry days. Now I'm all about the heartache. But you did a great job with this.