Forgive Me
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Description:
The promise is in the poem...kind of in between the lines i guess...well, like it says, i made a promise, tried to fight, but lost in the end...tell me what you think of it please, i don't think it is the greatest...but then again...i did write it...well enjoy.....
Forgive Me
Please forgive me, I desperately seek your guidance. I don't know what to do, And despite my efforts to fight, I am losing the battle. Please forgive me, I have broken my promise, But there was no other way out. In a dark world, I cry for help, I look for love. But in darkness, I am trapped... And I die. Please forgive me. I desperately search for you. For your hand in darkness, Your love in obscurity, But I can not find you. I search in fear. Crying out! I am sorry! Please help me. Once again my blood pours! This cursed blade has found me again! I need you. Hold me tight. Heal my wounds. Forgive me, And save me again. |
Submitted on 2005-07-18 08:52:39 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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| i really like this writing , it is so dark .. i love it ! and becuase you used simple words that make this writing feeling in my dark site ! becuase of what has happened with my ex girlfriend .. i love it and i like this words most : In a dark world, I cry for help, I look for love. But in darkness, I am trapped... Once again my blood pours! This cursed blade has found me again! I need you. Hold me tight. Heal my wounds. Forgive me, And save me again. amazing ... last week i wrote something like these one .. wow .. hope to read more of your writings and ... can you read my writings too ? and give me some feedback ? thank you ! peace and love! and stay metal! | Posted on 2005-11-19 00:00:00 | by vitoko | [ Reply to This ] | Nathan, i enjoyed reading this (i'm glad you posted something i'd never read before) it was creative and had a nice flow, you could really feel the emotion, the sadness behind this...the only thing i would change is the line that says 'heal my wounds' i don't know why, but it just doesn't seem to fit with the reast i think mostly its just the word 'heal' that doesn't fit, you should change 'heal' to 'bind' or something...anyway keep writing | | Posted on 2005-07-26 00:00:00 | by morte | [ Reply to This ] | Powerful. . .and lonely. I really like this-it's not often one cries out for salvation, especially repeated salvation and I think you've really captured something with your wording; the last five lines really bring it home though; great job. | | Posted on 2005-07-18 00:00:00 | by bentnotbroken | [ Reply to This ] | Good write! This is very powerful and full of despair. I can feel the desperation within the words! I understand how this feels. I have searched, at times in my life, for guidance and a strong hand to hold, only to be left alone. I have at many times questioned my beliefs and my faith, wondering if I have been misguided. I like how you aren't afraid to screw up and ask again for help. This is deep and spiritual and very good! Take care! | | Posted on 2005-07-18 00:00:00 | by lmz | [ Reply to This ] | good job! i liked the poem it was very beautiful yet so sad. its a talent to be able to make something so sad, so beautiful. | Please forgive me, But I desperately seek your guidance. that part doesnt really make sense to me. if it were my poem, which it is not i would say this: please forgive me, i desperately seek your guidance the only word that doesn't make sense is but. great poem with a beautiful and sad immage. xoxoxomuchlove-ash | Posted on 2005-07-18 00:00:00 | by DanceADream | [ Reply to This ] | Oh, that's nice. I mean, it's sad...but it's very pretty. Crying out for salvation...again. You're a very good writer. This is vivid...reminds me of my salvation poetry days. Now I'm all about the heartache. But you did a great job with this. | | Posted on 2005-07-18 00:00:00 | by Raivn | [ Reply to This ] | |
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