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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Forgive Medots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Podenco del infierno
    ASL Info:    19/M/Ohio
    Elite Ratio:    4.75 - 205/195/38
    Words: 124
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 1042
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 842



    Description:
       The promise is in the poem...kind of in between the lines i guess...well, like it says, i made a promise, tried to fight, but lost in the end...tell me what you think of it please, i don't think it is the greatest...but then again...i did write it...well enjoy.....


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    dotsForgive Medots
    -------------------------------------------


    Please forgive me,
    I desperately seek your guidance.
    I don't know what to do,
    And despite my efforts to fight,
    I am losing the battle.
    Please forgive me,
    I have broken my promise,
    But there was no other way out.
    In a dark world,
    I cry for help,
    I look for love.
    But in darkness,
    I am trapped...
    And I die.

    Please forgive me.
    I desperately search for you.
    For your hand in darkness,
    Your love in obscurity,
    But I can not find you.
    I search in fear.
    Crying out!
    I am sorry!
    Please help me.
    Once again my blood pours!
    This cursed blade has found me again!
    I need you.
    Hold me tight.
    Heal my wounds.
    Forgive me,
    And save me again.




    Submitted on 2005-07-18 08:52:39     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      i really like this writing , it is so dark .. i love it !
    and becuase you used simple words that make this writing feeling in my dark site ! becuase of what has happened with my ex girlfriend .. i love it and i like this words most :

    In a dark world,
    I cry for help,
    I look for love.
    But in darkness,
    I am trapped...

    Once again my blood pours!
    This cursed blade has found me again!
    I need you.
    Hold me tight.
    Heal my wounds.
    Forgive me,
    And save me again.

    amazing ... last week i wrote something like these one .. wow .. hope to read more of your writings and ...
    can you read my writings too ? and give me some feedback ? thank you !

    peace and love!

    and stay metal!
    | Posted on 2005-11-19 00:00:00 | by vitoko | [ Reply to This ]
      Nathan, i enjoyed reading this (i'm glad you posted something i'd never read before) it was creative and had a nice flow, you could really feel the emotion, the sadness behind this...the only thing i would change is the line that says 'heal my wounds' i don't know why, but it just doesn't seem to fit with the reast i think mostly its just the word 'heal' that doesn't fit, you should change 'heal' to 'bind' or something...anyway keep writing
    | Posted on 2005-07-26 00:00:00 | by morte | [ Reply to This ]
      Powerful. . .and lonely. I really like this-it's not often one cries out for salvation, especially repeated salvation and I think you've really captured something with your wording; the last five lines really bring it home though; great job.
    | Posted on 2005-07-18 00:00:00 | by bentnotbroken | [ Reply to This ]
      Good write! This is very powerful and full of despair. I can feel the desperation within the words! I understand how this feels. I have searched, at times in my life, for guidance and a strong hand to hold, only to be left alone. I have at many times questioned my beliefs and my faith, wondering if I have been misguided. I like how you aren't afraid to screw up and ask again for help. This is deep and spiritual and very good! Take care!
    | Posted on 2005-07-18 00:00:00 | by lmz | [ Reply to This ]
      good job! i liked the poem it was very beautiful yet so sad. its a talent to be able to make something so sad, so beautiful.
    Please forgive me,
    But I desperately seek your guidance.
    that part doesnt really make sense to me. if it were my poem, which it is not i would say this:
    please forgive me,
    i desperately seek your guidance
    the only word that doesn't make sense is but.

    great poem with a beautiful and sad immage.
    xoxoxomuchlove-ash
    | Posted on 2005-07-18 00:00:00 | by DanceADream | [ Reply to This ]
      Oh, that's nice. I mean, it's sad...but it's very pretty. Crying out for salvation...again. You're a very good writer. This is vivid...reminds me of my salvation poetry days. Now I'm all about the heartache. But you did a great job with this.
    | Posted on 2005-07-18 00:00:00 | by Raivn | [ Reply to This ]


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