I love this whole peice. I just can't put my finger on it. Just what I felt when I read it. What the words said. What the images brought. It's amazing. It made me cry. I'm not sure what you were talking about in it. And I guess it doesn't matter but it is good. My favorite part was the whole thing. I love this!
This was a truly amazing peace. It was simple yet it expressed a hell of a lot of things. Not only that but it was original, and very much so. It was fresh and very...just 'good' I suppose. Though it is, perhaps, an understatement. I was especially fond of this: "His eyes turned into green to see things different His arms got a pair of legs to walk streets permanent"
You had both the mechanics down; flow rhythm, rhym and so on, but also the emotion and the sort of 'realness' that one only finds every so often. Definitely a favourites edition. I really enjoyed reading this and hope you continue to write. However, I would be interested to see a title on the piece, if possible.