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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: This Is My Diarydots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: SorrowfulMind
    ASL Info:    18/Female/Alton, IL
    Elite Ratio:    3.34 - 27/39/13
    Words: 84
    Class/Type: Poetry/BrokenHeart
    Total Views: 959
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 505



    Description:
       Hmm.. I'll leave you to interpret this.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThis Is My Diarydots
    -------------------------------------------


    I flip through the pages.
    I look for you.
    Just a small reminder.
    A picture or two..

    I flip to the cover,
    And inside, it lays.
    A picture of us.
    I remember those days..

    And, on the back, written
    In ink, dark red..
    "Hello," with a smile..
    Nothing else said.

    And, on through the pages,
    I read from the start
    To the end of the ending.
    Last sorrow. Last heart..




    Submitted on 2005-07-18 14:34:53     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      this piece was well written but hollow.. simplicity is only good, when you can explain everything while keeping the words and sentences simple.. you completed the latter, but you just left yourself hanging.. this was not a poem, a mere statement at best.. but maybe trying to revise with a little more thought could make it better... sorry for being blunt, i hope you don't mind
    | Posted on 2005-08-17 00:00:00 | by daniel05 | [ Reply to This ]
      I like this, the second last stanza is my favourite, i can relate to it in my own way. I assume that this is looking a pictures in a photo album or derrivative of one and that it's of you and a close friend... The flow is really good as is the rhyme scheme and I like that it differs from the one in your other poem, shows diversity which is good in a writer.
    Laura-Grace
    | Posted on 2005-07-19 00:00:00 | by dark-red-pain | [ Reply to This ]
      nice job! my favorite stanza is the last one. this love sounds like a great loss, and the poem makes that relationship seem a bit mysterious. good job!
    -kate
    | Posted on 2005-07-18 00:00:00 | by emochick13 | [ Reply to This ]
      Yeah i would definatly assume the same as imz has...This was well written ...I can't fault it in anyway ...My fave stanza is probebly the first one ...It just kinda skips into the poem ...very free and easy ...so i liked that ...Good Job
    | Posted on 2005-07-18 00:00:00 | by Krysti | [ Reply to This ]
      This is very nicely written! So sad this is. I feel that the "pages" are in reference to a photo album, searching to recall memories of a love that has been lost. A love who still is "the love" and will always be. It sounds like this loss was sooo great that you don't wanna go there ever again. I think this is well written and a bit mysterious. Good poem! Take care.
    | Posted on 2005-07-18 00:00:00 | by lmz | [ Reply to This ]


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