Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: This Is My Diarydots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: SorrowfulMind
    ASL Info:    18/Female/Alton, IL
    Elite Ratio:    3.34 - 27/39/13
    Words: 84
    Class/Type: Poetry/BrokenHeart
    Total Views: 848
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 505



    Description:
       Hmm.. I'll leave you to interpret this.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThis Is My Diarydots
    -------------------------------------------


    I flip through the pages.
    I look for you.
    Just a small reminder.
    A picture or two..

    I flip to the cover,
    And inside, it lays.
    A picture of us.
    I remember those days..

    And, on the back, written
    In ink, dark red..
    "Hello," with a smile..
    Nothing else said.

    And, on through the pages,
    I read from the start
    To the end of the ending.
    Last sorrow. Last heart..




    Submitted on 2005-07-18 14:34:53     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      this piece was well written but hollow.. simplicity is only good, when you can explain everything while keeping the words and sentences simple.. you completed the latter, but you just left yourself hanging.. this was not a poem, a mere statement at best.. but maybe trying to revise with a little more thought could make it better... sorry for being blunt, i hope you don't mind
    | Posted on 2005-08-17 00:00:00 | by daniel05 | [ Reply to This ]
      I like this, the second last stanza is my favourite, i can relate to it in my own way. I assume that this is looking a pictures in a photo album or derrivative of one and that it's of you and a close friend... The flow is really good as is the rhyme scheme and I like that it differs from the one in your other poem, shows diversity which is good in a writer.
    Laura-Grace
    | Posted on 2005-07-19 00:00:00 | by dark-red-pain | [ Reply to This ]
      nice job! my favorite stanza is the last one. this love sounds like a great loss, and the poem makes that relationship seem a bit mysterious. good job!
    -kate
    | Posted on 2005-07-18 00:00:00 | by emochick13 | [ Reply to This ]
      Yeah i would definatly assume the same as imz has...This was well written ...I can't fault it in anyway ...My fave stanza is probebly the first one ...It just kinda skips into the poem ...very free and easy ...so i liked that ...Good Job
    | Posted on 2005-07-18 00:00:00 | by Krysti | [ Reply to This ]
      This is very nicely written! So sad this is. I feel that the "pages" are in reference to a photo album, searching to recall memories of a love that has been lost. A love who still is "the love" and will always be. It sounds like this loss was sooo great that you don't wanna go there ever again. I think this is well written and a bit mysterious. Good poem! Take care.
    | Posted on 2005-07-18 00:00:00 | by lmz | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    67033

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Whispered written by endlessgame23
    Coversheets written by TheStillSilence
    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Dream written by closetpoet
    Verse: written by Daniel Barlow
    In a Corner written by jeniecel
    Compartments written by TheStillSilence
    untitled written by Outlaw
    Untitled written by Daniel Barlow
    Not the Devil, but the Wind written by endlessgame23
    Johnny's Cock written by endlessgame23
    Hyle written by endlessgame23
    A bit of Pain written by teika5
    Things They (Don't) Say written by TheStillSilence
    The Curtain Call written by faideddarkness
    A Thousand Reflections written by endlessgame23
    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox
    Rooted in Nature written by Chelebel
    None the Wiser written by endlessgame23
    Snippet written by Daniel Barlow
    no sky on the other side written by teika5
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    The Human Harmonic written by Daniel Barlow
    Lie back & tan written by Daniel Barlow
    (Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal
    Beauty Rest written by jackz
    Starseed written by endlessgame23
    The Want written by Daniel Barlow
    Ciggarettes written by Poetic_tragedy6
    The World written by jjd

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry