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    dots Submission Name: Falling, Fall Awaydots

    Author: SorrowfulMind
    ASL Info:    18/Female/Alton, IL
    Elite Ratio:    3.34 - 27/39/13
    Words: 133
    Class/Type: Poetry/Betrayal
    Total Views: 990
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 705

       I want to leave you all to interpret this and see how close it is to the actual meaning.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsFalling, Fall Awaydots

    Following me down.
    Watch me as I fall.
    Hold me 'bove the ground
    Just so you can have your turn.

    Carry me up high.
    Make me see above it all.
    Send me to the sky
    Just so you can have your turn.

    Make me think you care.
    I will answer every call.
    Make me think I'm there
    Just so you can have your turn.

    You pushed. I fell away.
    You will see it, see it all.
    Now, I have to pay
    Just so you can have your turn.

    Following me down.
    Watch me as I fall.
    Hold me 'bove the ground
    Just so you can have your turn.

    Submitted on 2005-07-18 14:38:09     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Well as far as I'm concerned you hid the true meaning of this very clearly, honestly you could almost be depicting a roller coaster ride. But considering that your genre is Betrayal I figure it's about friends putting you down then giving you a tiny bit of a lift just to push you back down again... I'm most probably wrong but that's my guess.
    Good rhyme scheme and good flow.
    | Posted on 2005-07-19 00:00:00 | by dark-red-pain | [ Reply to This ]
      I've read a lot of angst poetry, on this sight and reminscing with friends about theirs and my own. A lot of times it's over embelished because there is so much emotion pushing the writers hand, but you pulled off one of the hardest aspects of writing, control. I liked this poem a lot because it didn't just pour everything out of the vessel or smash it on the ground, you filled each cup with the ease of a veteran waitress.
    | Posted on 2005-07-18 00:00:00 | by mr. | [ Reply to This ]

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