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    dots Submission Name: Lost Friend (revised)dots

    Author: _winky_
    ASL Info:    25/f/minnesota
    Elite Ratio:    4.32 - 664/529/96
    Words: 167
    Class/Type: Poetry/
    Total Views: 1005
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1046

       jsut some thoughts i threw out there, work on it when i have time................................

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsLost Friend (revised)dots

    What did I do to hear those words?
    Is there any reasoning in this?
    I had hoped for a peaceful end
    But you instead disappeared, a lost friend
    Memories left to fade into dust
    Pictures lying in the sun to fade away

    Words that cut to deep to express
    You left bleeding lines across my chest
    Can I forgive you for hurtful things?
    Is this what the future brings?
    I see glimpses of what may come
    As I sit alone dripping cerulean pain

    Cannot forget the things we did
    Or everything we went through together
    Now you have become my lost friend
    For reasons I just cannot comprehend
    Jagged lines are killing me slowly
    And yet you just keep speaking

    Yet explanations are left within the dust
    Forever silent now are your lips
    I shall leak out pain until I know
    So please, lost friend, donít move slow
    Dry up my river Iíve left for you
    Let us start over and ~love~ again

    Submitted on 2005-07-18 15:13:19     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      a very beautiful poem that i relate to perfectly
    i have had one best friend my whole life recently he moved away and im having a lot of trouble finding him again
    we kept in touch when i moved 3000 miles away
    i really like how you ended your poem with a positive note
    you are not the one giving up
    give your friend time some of us need time alone from different situations
    I hope evreything works out i strongly believe it will
    | Posted on 2005-10-06 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]
      i like this poem, how it draws you into it by telling a story. "Words that cut to deep to express
    You left bleeding lines across my chest"- those are my favorite lines. My suggestion is to use more emotions in your language- "Cannot forget the things we did, Everything we went through together"
    good job! -kate
    | Posted on 2005-07-18 00:00:00 | by emochick13 | [ Reply to This ]

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