[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: Maybe Baby.dots

    Author: fabulousAMY
    ASL Info:    21/Female/CA
    Elite Ratio:    2.97 - 159/159/61
    Words: 134
    Class/Type: Poetry/Nostalgia
    Total Views: 707
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 910

       and this is where we begin to wonder what's an illusion and what's reality? the cheap thrill of one party is gone as we head off on our own, only to find ourselves in an accident.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsMaybe Baby.dots

    The lights are turned down low,
    We're moving closer together,
    An electric pulse pounding louder,
    Well maybe Baby, the music is just right,
    And maybe Baby, this is our song,
    But we're not the only ones here,
    The dark room is spinning too fast,
    Or you're mind is a little blurred,
    A frightful film is over your eyes,
    Well maybe Baby, this isn't how it is,
    And maybe Baby, you're wrong.
    Cause we're the only ones here,
    Redlights flashing faster and closer,
    As a reflection is broken by reality,
    The screeching noises head for us,
    Well maybe Baby, you shouldn't have,
    And maybe Baby, we should have stayed,
    But all we have now is an ambulence.
    Hold on tight to tonight,
    Hold fast to my hand,
    Because maybe Baby, it's all you have left

    Submitted on 2005-07-18 18:16:19     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      I had trouble knowing what this poem was about first i thought it was a sexual poem two lovers makeing love but then as i went down it took me off that.. so i really dont know maybe you can expand a lil more on that.
    | Posted on 2005-07-18 00:00:00 | by bluesoxz | [ Reply to This ]
      I liked this poem. I had trouble telling what was happening with the accident and where they heard the music in the room. I wonder had they been drunk or high? You created the blur the people feel in this poem by blurring the actual events taken place for us readers as well. My head is spinning! lol. Good writing. Good flow. Now What happen?!
    | Posted on 2005-07-18 00:00:00 | by Magnolia Steele | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]