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    dots Submission Name: You waited to longdots

    Author: bluesoxz
    ASL Info:    16fohio
    Elite Ratio:    3.17 - 71/101/38
    Words: 348
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 738
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1966


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsYou waited to longdots

    Dead everyone says
    That they are. Hurt
    Everyone feels but
    Me I feel nothing.
    Numb to the chaos
    And your voice
    Brakes the ice.

    Blood everyone has.
    Air everyone breaths
    but me I have no
    pulse air chokes me
    So I drown in the
    Humanity of this world.

    Happy are you serious?
    I don't know what that
    means.Depressed I
    know all about that.
    Death is freedom and
    Living is dying.
    And crying is my weakness.
    This heart ... my heart
    Cries out for help

    Laughter is all around me
    Feels my head and stalks
    IM not used to it because
    All I do is frown.Jokes and
    Games surround me fucks
    With my head and brakes
    Me down.

    Addiction is my number 1
    Fan because all I do is
    Fall into it.Slavery im put
    into why because everyone
    Takes and takes.
    Satan is not are enemy
    God is he makes us
    Suffer puts us in fucked
    up situations and Watches
    Us tear each other part.
    Like wild animals we kill
    To feed off each other.

    Negavetivty sits in my
    Head and death sits
    Right next to it As
    They collide I refrain from
    Self injury barely making
    it by because you told me
    Not to do it.So I try and
    Try and Soon I will fail
    because I am nothing but
    Space and air
    Bone and flesh
    Not normal not right.

    Like a branch I brake
    Like a twig I snap
    Will you be Abel to
    Glue back the pieces
    This time?
    Wait and see but we
    All know Glue don't
    Last forever.
    So save me before
    Im gone
    You waited to long

    Submitted on 2005-07-18 23:25:15     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
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    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      Great Read Line By line it all just came together good use of metaphors
    And grammer Overall a Good read glad I had the chance to Enjoy it .By the way Iím
    No Talent Check out some of my work sometime aight.
    | Posted on 2005-07-22 00:00:00 | by No Talent | [ Reply to This ]
      Good job w/ this piece. the melancholy feeling resonates very well. There are a couple of places where you seem to have used the wrong wording "are" instead of "our" in the 6th line of the 5th stanza for example, but other than that this is a well written work. Great job w/ this. Keep writing and keep fighting off the demons.
    | Posted on 2005-07-19 00:00:00 | by bentnotbroken | [ Reply to This ]
      i enjoyed this.. it reminds me of what i do sometimes.. finishing the lines one after another.. it makes it go with this stop and go flow.. good work
    | Posted on 2005-07-19 00:00:00 | by rocknpoetrychik | [ Reply to This ]
      Ooo I love this. I dont even know what to say. The whole thing was just... my idea of perfect. Every word was great. I could tell that a lot of thought and emotion went into it. The line, "Living is dying" really stuck out for me. I feel the same way. I can relate to this completely.

    "I refrain from
    Self injury barely making
    it by because you told me
    Not to do it"

    ...Yeah... I know what thats like. I would expand on that, but im very tired (took a few too many sleeping pills again). Anywho, I love how this is written. Very creative and unique. Definitely going to the favorites. Good luck with everything. Great job

    | Posted on 2005-07-19 00:00:00 | by Liv2LoveThePain | [ Reply to This ]

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