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    dots Submission Name: Fall Into Youdots

    Author: Raivn
    ASL Info:    33/f/al
    Elite Ratio:    4.28 - 1222/916/231
    Words: 180
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 976
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1091

       This is about making a choice, even if it is the wrong one.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsFall Into Youdots

    A moan escapes my lips
    When my back hits the wall
    You hold me in your hands
    You swear you won't let me fall.
    You hungrily kiss my lips
    I fall into you...
    Though I've done it a million times,
    The feeling is always brand new.

    Our bodies mold into one another
    As if we are the same.
    Your hands caress my face,
    And my heart calls out your name.
    Your breath has given me life
    From your eyes, my hopes grew
    Your arms are my comfort, my solace
    I fall into you...

    You found me huddled in the darkness,
    Stuck where my world had fallen apart.
    You pulled me back into the light,
    Brushed the cobwebs from my heart.
    You gave me your love and made me whole.
    Then you crushed me in your fists.
    You built me up to break me down
    Now all that's left is this.

    I find myself in your arms again,
    Not sure of what to do.
    I close my eyes and let my heart decide
    I fall into you.

    Submitted on 2005-07-19 13:33:38     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

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    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      I love passionate poems... tasteful of course, but this is.. ahh. something all women do I think.
    And men play the role quite well too. Who hasn't done something so wrong that at the time they convince themselves its right?

    I love the absolute passion, and the knowing-ness of the character in the poem... completely aware that she is about to make a mistake...

    Trying to quit someone is the hardest thing I've ever had to do, and the character in this poem seems to be struggling with it too.


    | Posted on 2006-03-28 00:00:00 | by andrya | [ Reply to This ]
      you loved this person, and they hurt you, but you can't help coming back to them, cause everything just makes sense when you're together, everything just fits. and you know that your making a bad descision, but you can't help yourself, the situation is beyond your control. (sorry i got carried away with the interpretation, i'll try to keep it from happening again.)

    while i was reading the third stanza i realized i had like a movie rolling in my head, playing out the story unfolding with every line; so i'm going to commend you for your excellent use of imagery.

    Very powerful write. not a complaint to be said on my part.

    Have a lovely day
    | Posted on 2006-03-28 00:00:00 | by MyFairCalamity | [ Reply to This ]
      Great Read Line By line it all just came together good use of metaphors
    And grammer Overall a Good read glad I had the chance to Enjoy it .By the way Iím
    No Talent Check out some of my work sometime aight.
    | Posted on 2005-07-22 00:00:00 | by No Talent | [ Reply to This ]
      Good write I enjoyed reading it , good format it juss all game together well and great subject Iím sure we all feel like that sometimes But Iím No Talent check out some of my stuff sometime aight thanks
    | Posted on 2005-07-20 00:00:00 | by No Talent | [ Reply to This ]
      I enjoyed this one too... you write in the way i believe, or more like hope, that every woman can say " ya I remember that" and can totally relate.
    I think it is great the way it is written, but the third stanza creates a slightly awkward change of pace, like it would almost belong to another poem. re-reading it was almost necessary felt almost lost about right there. But it is great no doubt about it. Thank You!
    | Posted on 2005-07-19 00:00:00 | by pretty_kitty | [ Reply to This ]
      hmmm...wondering if they will ever fall into you?

    I think this was a very powerful poem...funny how a lot of people say that about what we read on here, but it must be true...and to me its because each "I fall into you" just came out of nowhere. I was expecting them and you placed them there just at the point where they should be...the places they SHOULD be. Very clever and that just shows that this write wasnt written on the spur of the moment...it was thought out and thats a special talent unto itself. Have a good one and keep smilin'
    | Posted on 2005-07-19 00:00:00 | by hyproglo | [ Reply to This ]
      I've always agreed with the idea of listening to your heart..this poem definately brings that subject out. I think this is a very passionate and heart felt poem. Great write. Keep it up. Peace.

    | Posted on 2005-07-19 00:00:00 | by bleeding-soul | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow! that was intense! very passionate as well as soulful. Found the rhythm interesting. It is as if the flow moved faster and faster or perhaps that was just my pulse racing as I read. I enjoyed this. Nice job!

    | Posted on 2005-07-19 00:00:00 | by SHRINKSDR | [ Reply to This ]
      Quite passionate poem about love and how it can be complicated sometimes. I loved the occasional rhyming, it made your poem flow really nice.
    | Posted on 2005-08-07 00:00:00 | by Poly Jean | [ Reply to This ]
      The mind conflicts with the heart, obviously wrote from deep inside. I truely loved this poem it speaks from the heart, which if people let guide them..generally takes you to the right place, there are always pluses and minuses within love...true love even moreso...it is the ability to still love...deeply though these that make us endure and actually grow into a better person for one another. Thank you for this writing, gives me much to reflect upon within my own llife.

    | Posted on 2005-07-19 00:00:00 | by MidnghtScorpion | [ Reply to This ]

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