Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Cuts and Slashesdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Raivn
    ASL Info:    33/f/al
    Elite Ratio:    4.28 - 1222/916/231
    Words: 125
    Class/Type: Poetry/Comedy
    Total Views: 612
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 762



    Description:
       I wrote this a long time ago. Cracker was my cat.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsCuts and Slashesdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Looking down at my body
    I wonder how it got this way
    Cuts criss-cross my arms
    Like some masochist at play.
    I can see where blood has spilt
    Causing so much pain
    But the price of pleasure is blood
    And pleasure is all there is to gain
    A quick slash here, a few cuts there
    As I go about my day
    When others see, they lower their gazes
    And have nothing much to say.
    There is one slash across the wrist,
    A dull red, and still fairly fresh.
    Is it a suicide attempt gone wrong?
    This mangling of the flesh
    And as I sit here, lost in space
    I see my skin's attacker.
    No, it's not a knife or razor.
    You fool, it's only Cracker!




    Submitted on 2005-07-19 13:39:15     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      You had me worried, cutting is really something that hits me hard. I hate hearing about people cutting, but it was comical about the cat. I thought it was funny by then, but self mutilation is no laughing matter. It was well written, I liked the rhymes and I can say overall I liked it.

    ~Mowsy

    P.S. I wasn't really going for anything. I just had a surgical mask lying around and decided "Why Not"
    | Posted on 2007-09-10 00:00:00 | by MowsysWrath | [ Reply to This ]
      Hey...i like this, it starts off to sound dark and what not. but then it all turns out to be your cat. Haha...i have to say that this did make me chuckle a little...Great job.

    P.S. ... I have a dog named Kracker...notice with a K...i named him after Uncle Kracker...you know...the singer...maybe not...but anyways, thought it was cool...
    | Posted on 2005-07-24 00:00:00 | by Podenco del infierno | [ Reply to This ]
      Merry Meet Raivn. I like this alot. I put it on my favorites list. I had hit the prompt for funny poetry and when I started reading this, I thought you classified this wrong. The last line though was a hoot. Great job! Thanks for making me laugh. Blessed Be Andrea
    | Posted on 2005-07-23 00:00:00 | by magickandie | [ Reply to This ]
      I know exactly what you are talking about when you say...
    "When others see, they lower their gazes
    And have nothing much to say."
    I can honestly say...been there. done that! My hands and arms used to look like I had been in a cat fight, when actually I had been. My mother used to ask me wasn't I embarrased to go out in public looking like that. I never let it bother me tho cause I loved playing with my cats.
    Enjoyed your witty-ness here.
    DJ
    PS: I have a dog named CrackerJack, but I call him Cracker.
    | Posted on 2005-07-21 00:00:00 | by Doris Jean | [ Reply to This ]
      Oh god, you nearly gave me a heart attack. I was like, oh no not another fvckin cutting/mutilation poem... I'm glad to see that it wasn't

    Having owned a few kitties in my lifetime I know only too well how much damage they can do to any part of your body hahaha. I still have faint scratch marks too. Oh, did I mention I used to be a vet assistant for three years as well? I saw a lot of cats in those days... Thanks for bringing back those memories

    Cheers,
    Jase
    | Posted on 2005-07-19 00:00:00 | by alteredlife | [ Reply to This ]
      lol Thats good. I like that. Worded excellently. I love cats, but sometimes in order to be with them, you gotta be willing to get your a$$ kicked. But its worth every scratch. I like this a lot. Great job

    -nikkki
    | Posted on 2005-07-19 00:00:00 | by Liv2LoveThePain | [ Reply to This ]
      Ha! This made me laugh my ass off! I thought you were cutting at first and then it was your cat! That was great! Very creative. Great job Raivn. Peace.
    | Posted on 2005-07-19 00:00:00 | by bleeding-soul | [ Reply to This ]
      I agree with Caitlin...this is great. I too got the impression at first that you were cutting. The flow is outstanding! One thing, you need to get Cracker declawed!lol. If not teach Cracker some manners!lol. Maybe you need to get Cracker fixed! Overall, it goes to show you cannot judge a book by it's cover! Great write...you take care, wanda
    | Posted on 2005-07-19 00:00:00 | by bigfineq | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow. This is great. It does give the impression of a pain filled person that had to cut themselves to feel better, if only for a moment. But I'm glad it's only your cat. Cats... what can you do with them? But cats are awsome. You should tell your cat not to take his/her pain out on you, lol. Great write!

    - -Caitlin
    | Posted on 2005-07-19 00:00:00 | by Oli | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    67173

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    A Worsening Effect written by Daniel Barlow
    Rooted in Nature written by Chelebel
    The Want written by Daniel Barlow
    untitled written by Outlaw
    Delicious Stews written by elephantasia
    The Curtain Call written by faideddarkness
    None the Wiser written by endlessgame23
    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore
    A bit of Pain written by teika5
    Gaia written by endlessgame23
    Starseed written by endlessgame23
    Coversheets written by TheStillSilence
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    Florida's Autumn Solstice written by closetpoet
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    no sky on the other side written by teika5
    Live In Between written by teika5
    The Human Harmonic written by Daniel Barlow
    Relentless. The Visceral Fracture. written by Daniel Barlow
    Compartments written by TheStillSilence
    Untitled written by Daniel Barlow
    Meaningless Meanings written by ForgottenGraves
    The World written by jjd
    Mystery Read written by kyserin
    Dream written by closetpoet
    Keep written by TheStillSilence
    Twin Intercept written by Daniel Barlow
    When Sirens Whisper written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Day 5 written by TheStillSilence
    A Thousand Reflections written by endlessgame23

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry