This poem captured the essence of what goes through a cutter's mind. I think it was a mite choppy, and the rhyme was a bit off, but the style was beautiful.
I really liked some of your imagry and connections here but I think (not your last two lines as much but) your last stanza was great. I loved your choice of words and how this one came together as a whole write. This was a great overall write and I'm glad you posted it. Peace
I like this write The way I look at it is You were down and out and thinking of just death Grabbing the knife you found something to carry you thru All the beautiful colors inside of you Giving you a new positive outlook
Stay Positive It will lead you to a peaceful life Take Care Ron
And thanks for the recent comments I am very glad you and enjoy and understand my poetry Thank You again Ron
I do like this.Yes i agree with BrokenAngel,I do think that is a spelling error.I like how you referred the blood onsode of you to all the colours of a rainbow and how you caught cutting perfectly in this poem.Good Write.
i've written a lot of mutilation/cutting poems before, and found themn to be boring and uncharicteristic. If you are really slitting, you should seek help, and if you're not, which as this poem suggests, you didnt capture the idea of cutting or self mutilation. The flow is off completely and as i said, you just didnt capture the picture. I'm not trying to be rude, so please forgive me if you take this offensively, but i thinki this needs some work. Keep trying
Ooooh! My god is this grim! I don't think your insides look anything like a rainbow! I have a hard time relating to this self-mutilation style writing! I just can't grasp it. I just hope this is merely an expression and not something you would actually consider doing! Life is precious! Take care!
i can relate to the feeling, and its good that you can express it. i only hope you won't demonstrate. and yes, you do have a future. you write beautifully. i was only distracted but worry. and i dont even know you! *hugs* keep writting. i'd like to see what else you've got. :)
lonewolf, i don't think that you should act out in any way that you have described in this poem.i don't usually read or comment on poems like this but if i can even give you one shred of hope maybe my time will not have been wasted.no matter what, remember.there is a future.that is all that you need to think about but that doesn't mean that you won't have to go it alone.good luck and fare well. SoNNy
You are so cute! "Maybe your insides would look like a rainbow if you gutted yourself like a fish..." You are my kind of person!
I didn't really like this one. You didn't have a lot of imagery. What you wrote didn't seem like a really good picture of the way you why you cut. It's just not very descriptive.
Submission Name: My Rainbow
