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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: My Rainbowdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: LoneWolf
    ASL Info:    16/F/Earth
    Elite Ratio:    4.35 - 136/108/19
    Words: 99
    Class/Type: Poetry/Cutting or Mutilation
    Total Views: 943
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 646



    Description:
       Not quite sure where i got this idea....
    but maybe your insides would look like a rainbow if you gutted yourself like a fish...


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsMy Rainbowdots
    -------------------------------------------


    I'm searching for a rainbow
    An array of pretty colors
    But I don't know where to go
    To find my little rainbow

    I just wanna leave this world
    Everyone hates me here
    Always laughing at me
    As I shed my tears

    I sought out my knife today
    And cut myself deep
    I'm going away today
    Since no one here likes me

    I finally found what I'm looking for
    A blend of many sheds
    Under all the blood and gore
    After all these days

    The lovely colors inside of me
    That's where my rainbow will be




    Submitted on 2005-07-20 09:50:15     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      lol The description made me say woah. So I had to read it

    You're so creative. I know exactly what you mean. You said it perfectly. My favorite part (you know i always have to point it out ) is:

    "I finally found what I'm looking for
    A blend of many sheds
    Under all the blood and gore
    After all these days"

    It's all wonderfully worded. Great job

    -nikkki
    | Posted on 2006-01-08 00:00:00 | by Liv2LoveThePain | [ Reply to This ]
      This poem captured the essence of what goes through a cutter's mind. I think it was a mite choppy, and the rhyme was a bit off, but the style was beautiful.
    | Posted on 2005-12-23 00:00:00 | by LivingShadow | [ Reply to This ]
      I really liked some of your imagry and connections here but I think (not your last two lines as much but) your last stanza was great. I loved your choice of words and how this one came together as a whole write. This was a great overall write and I'm glad you posted it.
    Peace
    | Posted on 2005-11-18 00:00:00 | by silent_death12 | [ Reply to This ]
      I like this write
    The way I look at it is
    You were down and out and thinking of just death
    Grabbing the knife you found something to carry you thru
    All the beautiful colors inside of you
    Giving you a new positive outlook

    Stay Positive
    It will lead you to a peaceful life
    Take Care
    Ron


    And thanks for the recent comments
    I am very glad you and enjoy and understand my poetry
    Thank You again
    Ron
    | Posted on 2005-11-12 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]
      I do like this.Yes i agree with BrokenAngel,I do think that is a spelling error.I like how you referred the blood onsode of you to all the colours of a rainbow and how you caught cutting perfectly in this poem.Good Write.
    | Posted on 2005-09-02 00:00:00 | by giver_of_death | [ Reply to This ]
      i've written a lot of mutilation/cutting poems before, and found themn to be boring and uncharicteristic. If you are really slitting, you should seek help, and if you're not, which as this poem suggests, you didnt capture the idea of cutting or self mutilation. The flow is off completely and as i said, you just didnt capture the picture. I'm not trying to be rude, so please forgive me if you take this offensively, but i thinki this needs some work. Keep trying
    | Posted on 2005-07-28 00:00:00 | by PsychoBabble214 | [ Reply to This ]
      Ooooh! My god is this grim! I don't think your insides look anything like a rainbow! I have a hard time relating to this self-mutilation style writing! I just can't grasp it. I just hope this is merely an expression and not something you would actually consider doing! Life is precious! Take care!

    Lorna
    | Posted on 2005-07-28 00:00:00 | by lmz | [ Reply to This ]
      This poem was delivered beautifully. Your rhyming was great for the poem, but I do believe I've found a spelling error.

    A blend of many sheds

    I think it's supposed to be shades?
    Well written overall. Ciao.
    | Posted on 2005-07-20 00:00:00 | by BrokenAngel | [ Reply to This ]
      wow...that was really good...i like your form of delivery, and i can really relate to it...really really relate to it...keep up the great work

    -patrice nolastname
    | Posted on 2005-07-20 00:00:00 | by Poetry_Princess | [ Reply to This ]
      i can relate to the feeling, and its good that you can express it. i only hope you won't demonstrate. and yes, you do have a future. you write beautifully. i was only distracted but worry. and i dont even know you! *hugs* keep writting. i'd like to see what else you've got. :)
    | Posted on 2005-07-20 00:00:00 | by oyayjoi | [ Reply to This ]
      lonewolf, i don't think that you should act out in any way that you have described in this poem.i don't usually read or comment on poems like this but if i can even give you one shred of hope maybe my time will not have been wasted.no matter what, remember.there is a future.that is all that you need to think about but that doesn't mean that you won't have to go it alone.good luck and fare well. SoNNy
    | Posted on 2005-07-20 00:00:00 | by sickly | [ Reply to This ]
      You are so cute! "Maybe your insides would look like a rainbow if you gutted yourself like a fish..." You are my kind of person!

    I didn't really like this one. You didn't have a lot of imagery. What you wrote didn't seem like a really good picture of the way you why you cut. It's just not very descriptive.

    Stefanie
    | Posted on 2005-08-02 00:00:00 | by DeadValentine | [ Reply to This ]


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    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


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