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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: FALLEN SOLDIERSdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: xtremegentleman
    ASL Info:    22/m/FL
    Elite Ratio:    3.57 - 595/778/82
    Words: 311
    Class/Type: Lyrics/Longing
    Total Views: 1890
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 2137



    Description:
       You all have to excuse me on this one...This sudden death in my family just brought back so many memories...I was crying while I was typing this one...It's lyrics--you can call this one rap. But it's for every person that I lost that I loved...RIP

    George Battles (Grandaddy)
    Cousin Junior
    Steve Kelly
    Johnnie Jones
    Quincy Exantus (Prince)

    Everyone else that I know that has went on to the other side. I respect you all too. But this here is love!



    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsFALLEN SOLDIERSdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Peace to Steve Kelly
    and my boy Johnnie Jones
    I know you're gone!
    I'm gon' miss you
    But life goes on

    It's a struggle in the streets
    And we hustle just to eat
    Tote heat big enough
    To give the street a good sweep

    Homies young and they dying
    So you hear the mamas crying
    See him laying in the dirt
    Not breathing! Ain't trying

    Pop's grieving! Shots flying
    All this liquor that we buying
    Screaming "Thug Life"
    Drive by, bust and keep riding

    I know who killed my boy
    But that coward keep hiding
    I'm gon cut him like a sorry player
    Wait until I find him

    In the mean time picture X
    On the block grinding
    That's an old photograph
    You should picture X shining

    You should picture Junior breathing
    Picture us not grieving
    The graveyard with no stones
    No bones even

    Even Pac could come back
    Take Pun to see Crack
    Never see an R.I.P.
    Where B.I.G was placed at

    Picture every rapper in the church
    Where Pastor Mace at
    Close the album--homies gone'
    And nothing can replace that

    I wrote a will a while ago
    But you can go erase that
    When I die bury me
    In a Bentley Maybach

    And I'll drive into Heaven
    Sitting on some twenty-sevens
    Find my grandaddy--
    He died just when I turned eleven

    And I'll see my boy Prince
    Trust me dawg, I've been waiting
    Ever since you died that week
    Before high school graduation

    But I can't be anxious...
    Trying to be patient
    Got a woman that I love
    Can't leave her life vacant

    Wishing that we could go back
    Reverse the ride
    Let's have moment of silence
    For the folks that died...











    Submitted on 2005-07-20 13:28:24     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

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    ||| Comments |||
      i can see why everyone says u remind them of pac in a way. it's true, i won't deny that but i couldn't say a particular song that this reminded me of becuz it has a style of it's own. ur style that cannot be imitated. damn good write, and that's not an opinion. that's the truth.
    | Posted on 2005-08-01 00:00:00 | by unknown soldier | [ Reply to This ]
      like then one too the same thing goes for the last poem i commented bout i aint gonna lie to u though i think u kinda sound like pac but thats jus my popion peace
    | Posted on 2005-07-30 00:00:00 | by heavy knowledge | [ Reply to This ]
      this feels like an original street piece and i is heart felt and meanignful and i enjoyed it very much, thanks for the write, it sounded sorta like 2pac, and i had the song '''that's the way it is'' you knowhatimean? very cool X cheers"!
    | Posted on 2005-07-28 00:00:00 | by orpheus | [ Reply to This ]
      wow X that was wow total props i loved it. a new fave for me. it was straight from the heart and thats awsome. im sorry for your loss. and it would be amazing if people could come back that didnt need to die for no real reason. great read and write keep it up...Joy
    | Posted on 2005-07-24 00:00:00 | by sweet_rayne | [ Reply to This ]
      Straight to the heart. I'm one of very few people who've never lost someone close to them. I can only imagine what that has to be like. This is incredible. Simply and beautifully incredible.
    | Posted on 2005-07-22 00:00:00 | by AngelOutlaw | [ Reply to This ]
      Even Pac could come back
    Take Pun to see Crack
    Never see an R.I.P.
    Where B.I.G was placed at

    Picture every rapper in the church
    Where Pastor Mace at
    Close the album-homies gone'
    And nothing can replace that

    I wrote a will a while ago
    But you can go erase that
    When I die bury me
    In a Bentley Maybach

    those lines hit me the most, thinkin back to all our lost patriarchs and idols of hip-hop. i'm srry for your lost loves ones, brian. god knows i've had ones that i love die. Melissa, Paw-Pee, Gamee,...the list goes on. the main idea is for us to never let go, tho we may stop cryin and our facesdry, we never let go. very somber piece for you, not that it matters. brilliant.~P.J.
    | Posted on 2005-07-21 00:00:00 | by Aknahlij_d 1 | [ Reply to This ]
      First let me say I am sorry about your sudden lost of your cousin Jr. its such a shame how young kids see all this volinece in video's and think its cool and only see women as booty shaking whores. The streets are very tough,but only the people who live that life can change it, asking the Gov or police to stop it,will never do any good. its takes good parents and tight families to overcome it.

    This is an excellent write and so so so true,bravo
    | Posted on 2005-07-21 00:00:00 | by edthepoet | [ Reply to This ]
      This was an excrutiatingly heartfelf piece! It was so sad, mixed with a little bit of rage maybe? Too many lives are taken too soon and others you just don't want to let go of. You've hit a lot of hearts with this and did a wonderful job!
    I'm so very sorry for your losses...you seem to have a lot of strength to carry on- you've shown a lot of it in your writing! Great job!
    Candi
    | Posted on 2005-07-20 00:00:00 | by dreamweaver | [ Reply to This ]
      Well this is a very mature piece, Brian, I commend you for keeping your obvious emotions in check.

    You do well to give us a small insight of the character of those you've lost, to drag the reader into the sorrow, and hope, that you put into this.

    Once again, you impress greatly.

    Well done, and, I mean this:

    be Happy

    Graeme
    | Posted on 2005-07-20 00:00:00 | by wewak11 | [ Reply to This ]
      ooohhhh X, i really respect this piece...its a nice tribute to people that mean so much to you, that have gone somewhere a whole lot better than this! my condolences for your loss, but you are showing great strength and courage through it...the flow was great and i could even hear the music.

    trust that it will get easier...though you wont forget you will shine in their memories...

    -nikki
    | Posted on 2005-07-20 00:00:00 | by stolie77 | [ Reply to This ]
      I guess the only one's I have lost were my granddad and a brother-in-law. Both are missed. This is an exceptional piece and touches at the heartstrings. Amazingly written.

    It has a sense of sadness and longing to be with those that you've lost.. Yet a desire to remain and "live".. for them, and those who are still here.

    The last stanza was an excellent way to close this out. A moment of silence...

    ~ Sandra
    | Posted on 2005-07-20 00:00:00 | by Intricate1 | [ Reply to This ]
      Good write brian. When a remembrance piece is written it takes everybody back to the time they lost someone. And thats you did. Kinda like that old school song by p, i miss my homies, you truly trying to remember in the best way and that i gotta applaude you for. Im sorry for your loss but keep your head up

    DylanPoe
    | Posted on 2005-07-20 00:00:00 | by dylanpoe | [ Reply to This ]
      You touched on emotions that I've tried to forget B...you truly have...This was a very somber and hearfelt requiem for all that was.

    Death funny...though it stops a life it brings together so many more...think of how close you are at the funeral services with all the other who are grieving...think back to a burial of a long time homie and remember the embrace you gave to that one person you hadn't seen in years and swore you didnt care about...but because of a mutual death you cling to that person for comfort, for relief...man i'm sorry i dont mean to ramble on your piece but you've just made a retired soldier think...
    | Posted on 2005-07-20 00:00:00 | by Brownsdelight | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow this is a masterpiece..It got me crying immensely ...I mean you got me contemplating about the struggle of our black youth...caught up in these social injustices..However it captures the beauty of our talented and gifted brothers, while some have given up the fight to realise their potential!This is an inspirational piece...Nobantu
    | Posted on 2005-08-03 00:00:00 | by Nobantu | [ Reply to This ]


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    67319

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


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