[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: I can't learn...dots

    Author: painofthanatos
    Elite Ratio:    4.32 - 684/571/86
    Words: 172
    Class/Type: Poetry/Depressed
    Total Views: 794
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1034

       old poem...not so sure if i like it...too much me in it, ya know?
    luckily i'm a bit happier now. I think psychology class with the shrill woman is just enough to make anyone miserable...lol.
    I just needed something new to post
    anyway, tell me what you think

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsI can't learn...dots

    In a class, drop spinning a stolen blue pen
    She's lecturing us on memory,
    but I've forgotten most of what she's said
    I think all those hours of colouring my world with sharpies has gone to my head
    I'm learning how to hate writing
    And loathe reading
    But I can't learn how to stop breathing

    I've given up on finding someone to love
    I've given up on trying to find a friend
    But I can't seem to give up completely
    And bring my life to an end
    the over doses are never enough
    And all the ropes I bring to my neck
    Fall limp in my hands before I'm completely gone
    And I have all of the bruises to prove it
    Everytime I try to hold my head under the water
    My mouth gasps for water before my mind can stop it

    And now I'm giving up on giving up
    Will I forever be a quitter
    Succumbing to the misery of whatever is placed in front of me...?

    Submitted on 2005-07-20 21:05:09     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      whoaaa courtney. i like this alot. u come up with awesome works. i know these things say not to give just compliments, but i really just love it and have nothing i think u should change about it.

    | Posted on 2005-12-08 00:00:00 | by roxygirl | [ Reply to This ]
      inspired by bobo's class? haha yea

    [[She's lecturing us on memory,
    but I've forgotten most of what she's said]]
    haha good piece of irony

    [[But I can't learn how to stop breathing]]
    i thought that line was cool

    [[My mouth gasps for water before my mind can stop it]]
    did you mean "air" in place of "water"?

    i liked this
    | Posted on 2005-07-24 00:00:00 | by sudie | [ Reply to This ]
      Giving up on giving up...good line. Kind of like sick and tired of being sick and tired. I liked the whole write and it was easy to get into. The feeling of not being able to give up was quite inspirational and just made it seem a little uplifting...is that weird...?
    Have a good one and keep writin'
    | Posted on 2005-07-24 00:00:00 | by hyproglo | [ Reply to This ]
      i like it... the first stanza is tops... it's very... cute.. it reminds me of a girl that means a lot me...

    i think i like it, cause it shows a sence of humor... ya know... parts are said but it's pretty funny too...

    She's lecturing us on memory,
    but I've forgotten most of what she's said

    thats a great line.. it made me laugh... i think with a little more work this could be great

    just try and clear out your thoughts

    give reasons for why you feel like that... this would help a lot in the seconds stanza...

    this is a cool little poem

    on the flipside
    | Posted on 2005-07-20 00:00:00 | by milo stills | [ Reply to This ]
      I love this. I found the whole thing to be completely amazing. Your words described me perfectly. There is nothing I don't like about it. I have nothing negative to say. Great job

    | Posted on 2005-07-20 00:00:00 | by Liv2LoveThePain | [ Reply to This ]
      The first part, made me chuckle a little, I just got done doing summer psychology yesterday. And it made me kind of giggle. Lol. The end of it was cool. I was different from the beginning, but still good. And for this being some of your begining work, I can only imagine what awesome stuff you have now. Lol.
    | Posted on 2005-07-20 00:00:00 | by Blindly-N-Love | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Bond written by saartha
    The Severed Head written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Wavelength written by saartha
    Linger written by saartha
    Sunset written by rev.jpfadeproof
    written by Daniel Barlow
    World I No Longer Want written by ForgottenGraves
    Or are we written in the sand? written by Chelebel
    More then just goodbye written by faideddarkness
    Neither Here nor There written by layDsayD
    AI written by poetotoe
    Once Again written by krs3332003
    Primitive Lapse written by Crestfallenman
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (7) written by endlessgame23
    I will call out your name written by RisingSon
    It's Night Now written by RisingSon
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    PEARL (Exclusive Poem) 10th Anniversary... written by Cordell
    Devils in the Details written by endlessgame23
    descent written by TheBadSadMan
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Cosmic Dreams written by Chelebel
    Estranged / Shocks written by Daniel Barlow
    You do, I Do written by poetotoe
    Dashboard Light written by layDsayD
    What happens written by Wolfwatching
    102.3 written by rev.jpfadeproof
    True Death written by layDsayD
    written by Daniel Barlow
    written by Daniel Barlow




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]