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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Deathdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: luvy
    ASL Info:    19/F/AZ
    Elite Ratio:    4.45 - 270/168/35
    Words: 77
    Class/Type: Misc/
    Total Views: 1025
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 471



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsDeathdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Thoughts racing

    Heart pounding

    Should she end it all

    She thinks about letting the pain seep through her veins

    She see the knife

    She tries to end her misary

    it cant be done

    other ways are considerd

    she pictures her mother

    how she would react at her funeral

    all of a sudden they cant be done






    Submitted on 2005-07-20 22:40:43     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

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    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      dont leave me by myself gena! bcz then if u die i have to die to! and we still have to go to the oscar award and u have to marry usher in 2012! and i have to marry u know who in 2014 and then we have to look good together cuz thats the way its gonna be and u cant die!ok! anyway the poem was a little short but hey its not my problem if u want it that short be my guest cuz my poems are short! anyway love u soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo much! and u probaly wont have the attention span to read this but ill still submit it! love ya!
    ~akaila evonne~
    | Posted on 2005-07-23 00:00:00 | by iluvpoetry_1 | [ Reply to This ]
      too short. it was good though. u should at least hint at what made u feel this way in the poem. and the picture of ur funeral was okay but u could've elaborated a little bit.
    | Posted on 2005-07-21 00:00:00 | by unknown soldier | [ Reply to This ]
      wow i like this alot i like the flow alot too. i know it hurt when you lose someone, especially your mother. the anticipation of the funeral is what get everyone. i hope you feel better and i hope everything goes well. keep up the awesome writes because i love to read your work.
    love
    tina
    | Posted on 2005-07-21 00:00:00 | by ladiesplanet1 | [ Reply to This ]
      this was good, i need more tho, why do you wanna die, what about he rest of your fam at the funeral? im not getting alot. but it was sad... i think u need to work on it a bit tho...
    -suicidalchild51-
    | Posted on 2005-07-21 00:00:00 | by Suicidalchild51 | [ Reply to This ]
      This was pretty good. The spelling errors really distract from the writing. The emotion, and your ability to paint the picture in my mind is excellent. If you were to fix the spelling and punctuation it would help it flow better. There also feels like maybe it should be just a little bit longer. It left me wanting more, which could be a good thing too because now I want to read more from you!! But good job and keep at it!!!
    | Posted on 2005-07-20 00:00:00 | by kriley6497 | [ Reply to This ]


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